


Ripple

by KamiKo



Series: Ripple Series [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Action & Romance, Drama, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, NejiShika - Freeform, ShikaNeji - Freeform, Slow Burn, Yaoi, canon adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-06 08:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 38,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12207702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KamiKo/pseuds/KamiKo
Summary: The progression between Shikamaru and Neji was persistent, but leisurely and yet still somehow they had missed the turning point.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended.
> 
> Timeline: This is considered Canon-Adjacent. It follows most of the Canon timeline with a few key differences. The fourth Shinobi war did not happen, most of the Akatsuki members are alive. All gaps and changes are explained during the story.

 

A piercing, excruciating and unrelenting ache seared through Shikamaru's body, jolting him straight up from his contrived slumber. It was blinding, electric and even though he wanted to scream his throat was too dry. Dry like a desert. His tongue tasted of salt and felt akin to sandpaper scraping along the roof of his mouth, urgently attempting to spread moisture. Numbness began to creep up his legs which he so desperately longed to lift, yet found them to be far too heavy. Shikamaru gave another futile attempt at moving, this time his eyelids, and found no success. Where was he? What had happened?

  
Shikamaru's brows furrowed for half a second, even such a simple action caused him immense discomfort. A warm sensation at his temples told the shadow wielder he wasn't alone but did little to ease his steadily growing concern about what had put him in such a vulnerable position. Were it not for the steady flow of chakra his presumed comrade was sending through his body in an attempt to lessen his agony, Shikamaru wouldn't have known anyone was there. Years of training should've made it laughably easy to sense someone sitting directly beside him. Certainly not a good sign that he couldn't.  
  
He gradually relaxed, due wholly to the fingers pressed to his temples which had finally allowed him to stop scrunching his face, soothing the burning crackle in his body. Without his blood booming in his eardrums any longer, Shikamaru could finally hear a flood of noise in the distance. Shrill screams, indignant war cries, kunais clanking, bodies colliding, blasts of various chakra and jutsus ricocheting. That's right. He was on the battlefield. At least he had been, that much he could remember. Shikamaru needed to get up; he needed to move, to help the others in any way he could. The fingers at his temple pressed harder upon sensing his sudden urgency and forced him to remain still.  
  
When he tried to ignore those fingers, Shikamaru's legs screeched from a thudding, pounding sensation which confirmed he had several broken bones. The word _troublesome_ came to mind. He couldn't get up no matter how badly he wanted to. Shikamaru licked his brittle lips and gave his voice a shot-- all he could manage was a hoarse groan. Wonderful. Either he had crushed his windpipe somehow or was extremely dehydrated. Not that he had an inkling one way or the other seeing as how every inch of him prickled with pain. The hand on the right side of his head disappeared momentarily, then Shikamaru felt something cool pressed to his lips.  
  
His brain had scarcely registered it as water, lips parting easily to accept the cup held out for him. It occurred to Shikamaru that he couldn't possibly be laying on his back- generally one ought to be able to tell what position their body was in, but the only feeling he could identify seemed to be the pain. What he had assumed to be a pillow shifted beneath his head, and the shadow ninja knew he was laying in someone's lap, on someone's legs. Once again, Shikamaru found himself grappling with his body by flinching his eyes hoping sheer willpower would force them open.  
  
Shikamaru's efforts were thwarted when he heard the shuffling of a heavy canvas flung out of the way, probably a tent flap opening. The presence of another made itself known, although Shikamaru still couldn't get a read on chakra to tell who it might be. Haggard, strained breaths puffed from the newcomer and made Shikamaru wonder what sort of horrific travesty the stranger had faced.  
  
"We have to move." Came a surprisingly calm, albeit gruff voice.  
  
Sasuke. It made sense that the Uchiha hadn't fallen in the line of duty, he was after all a member of one of Konoha's four noble clans. Shikamaru felt multitudes of relief. Someone from his village was confirmed to be alive, insinuating they hadn't lost the war as of that very moment. Another shift as the ninja lifted Shikamaru's head, the legs beneath him disappeared and was replaced by a cushiony pillow. A bottle of water was then pressed into Shikamaru's hand before the unknown shinobi prepared to leave. He couldn't say for sure if his comrade's chakra had something to do with it or if his body was utterly exhausted, but sleep was starting to plague Shikamaru's mind like cancer. After what felt like an eternity of struggle, Shikamaru managed to inch an eye open, observing the blurry sight of two ANBU clad ninja ducking out of the tent. Long brown hair was the last thing he saw, and his final conscious thought echoed the familiar man's name.  
  
Neji Hyūga.


	2. Chapter 2

When Shikamaru opened his eyes again, it wasn't because of intolerable pain or his body begging for water but the high-pitched screams and a nearby explosion close enough to rattle the ground beneath him. He would've flown straight up from his cot had it not been for a weight on his chest pressing him down. Slowly he opened his eyes and took in his surroundings; green tarp overhead, earth and iron in his nose, indescribable pain in places he didn't know could ache, muscles rigid and stiff. Shikamaru gathered he was still on the battlefield and reasonably close to where the action was happening all things considered.

“It’s best if you don’t try to move.”

It took Shikamaru an embarrassingly long time to locate the eerily smooth voice. Neji Hyūga. The man stood near the entry of the tent with his arms folded firmly across his chest, sporting his usual emotionless, stern expression. A quick scan of the older man and Shikamaru decided he looked like he had been to hell and back. Twice. Somehow though Neji managed to maintain a sense of elegance that should've been impossible to achieve. Naturally, Shikamaru knew of Neji with him being a prodigy and all, but also from their time training as jōnin. However, they didn’t know one another well enough for Neji to be watching over him.

Remembering that he had been held in place merely a few moments ago, Shikamaru’s gaze shifted to a woman he didn't recognize, a medical ninja presumably, who had chakra charged palms hovering over his abdomen. Her chakra felt so unlike that which had been coursing through his temples the last time he’d been awake. The thought struck another memory in the shadow wielder, reminding him that Neji had been present at that moment, too.

A spiky mess of blonde hair popped in through the tent flap, distracting and startling Shikamaru, so he didn't have enough time to brace himself for the loud shout. "You're awake!"

Only Naruto Uzumaki could be chipper during a war. Shikamaru briefly entertained that perhaps all of them could maintain certain unique qualities no matter the situation. Hyūga with his regality, Naruto, and his unique vibrancy. Hell, even Shikamaru had gotten to be his lazy self by lounging around in a tent for who knew how many days. By now Naruto had shuffled his way into the tent, although with some difficulty since he had an armload of junk cradled in his arms and Neji stood partially in the way. Shikamaru watched silently while the blonde proudly dumped his treats beside the cot then flopped down.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on him while I got snacks!” Naruto directed to Neji this time.

So that's what was going on. It made much more sense that Neji was recruited unwittingly to the task of babysitting. All-seeing-eyes landed on Naruto for a fleeting second before shifting to Shikamaru in a calculating manner that made the ponytailed man slightly unnerved. Eventually, Neji nodded, offered a small bow and exited the tent.

“Is it over?” Shikamaru asked after some time.

It seemed even one as dense as Naruto didn’t always need context because he answered, “Not just yet. We’re waiting on reports from neighboring villages to see if it’s safe to head home.”

That wasn't the answer Shikamaru had hoped for, but it was better than the alternative of being fully engaged in war. Naruto settled in comfortably beside his cot then popped open a giant bag of chips, munching away and asking the medical ninja for updates on Shikamaru’s condition in between bites. The shadow ninja still had a bunch of questions, namely what the hell had happened to him because he couldn’t remember a damn thing, but also where were his teammates? His sensei? His father? How many shinobi had they lost? Plenty had perished, that much he knew for certain, all of them understood this could very well be their last mission together. Shikamaru felt like he had cheated death in some way.

“What happened to me?” he questioned.

Naruto paused mid-bite and lowered his potato chip. “What do you remember?”

“Not a thing.” Shikamaru all but sighed.

“Take a deep breath and try to think back.” Naruto encouraged.

Shikamaru intended to snap that the task wasn’t so simple, but the medical ninja hovered a hand over his forehead, exerted a slow stream of chakra and told him to focus.

> _Bodies, bodies everywhere. Some friend, some foe. It seemed irrelevant when the death toll was this high when the earth had become so saturated with blood all he could smell was iron. None of them would be the same after this, not the people he knew nor the ones Konoha fought. A shuriken whizzed past his head reminding Shikamaru that he did not have time for thinking. How troublesome. He side-stepped the oncoming ninja seamlessly, grabbed the man by the arm to drag him closer then instantly snapped his neck. A splash of fresh blood sprayed his face._
> 
> _How many had he killed? How many bodies in the heaping pile was he responsible for? Not that it should matter. Protecting the village was his duty, his calling and why he had spent his whole life training. A quick survey around the field allowed him to locate the faces of those dearest to him. His father up on the mountains dueling three armed ninjas, looking positively bored despite the effort he was putting forth. Chōji_ _expanded to the size of a house, using his entire body to bring crushing force on his opponents. Ino rampaged through the battlefield with surprising strength and speed, fighting more ruthlessly than Shikamaru believed her to be capable of. Tears still streamed her face- her father had been chopped down to bits nearly an hour ago, and she hadn't slowed down since. Cigarette smoke fumed from Asuma like a chimney, and he appeared more interested in protecting the cancer stick than his own life. Whatever motivation worked, Shikamaru supposed. He continued to look around and caught glimpses of enough familiar faces to determine most of them were still alive._
> 
> _“Nara!” Tsunade barked as she came skidding to a crouched halt at his side._
> 
> _He cast a scrutinizing glance over her injuries and chakra levels. She couldn’t keep this up for much longer. None of them could. He only hoped that their enemies were in a similar state._
> 
> _“Get out of la la land before you get crushed!”_
> 
> _Shikamaru did as instructed, launched across the field with quick handwork and managed to snag two unsuspecting ninjas with his shadows._
> 
> _"Sorry, fellas looks like this is the end of the road." Shikamaru sneered._
> 
> _His victory was shortly lived. Hands soared from underground, snatched his ankles and drug him onto his knees, submerging him within a mound of muddy clay. Hundreds of new ninjas emerged from the earth, sprouting forth with angry cries, the element of surprise tipping the scales in their favor. His concentration broke, severing his bond with the two ninjas whom fortunately were more interested in joining the fray than killing a trapped jōnin. Shikamaru cursed. Adversary ninjas dashed with the very speed all of them had been warned about during the debriefing, plucking off leaf ninja one by one, colliding with Shikamaru's comrades in a tumble of wrathful blows._
> 
> _The shadow wielder's heart sank to his feet. He watched, horrified, while his people were slaughtered, as more enemies swarmed the crumbling, bloodied battleground giving them fewer places to hide, less space to fight. Times like this made having an overactive brain a detrimental nightmare. Every situation he calculated and every outcome pointed to the same devastating defeat. Once shaken from his torturous thoughts, Shikamaru's shadows made a desperate sweep across the land, capturing several adversary ninjas. He gasped, tightness swelling in his chest for exerting too much chakra and trying to contain so many people at once._
> 
> _He felt like he would burst soon. If it bought his comrades even a few seconds, it would be worth destroying himself. He felt it before he saw or heard the man, the cold fingers around his throat. A blind spot. Someone had appeared when his guard was down and now with too many of his shadows exerted there was no way out._
> 
> _His final thought was ‘troublesome.’_

"We were ambushed," Shikamaru spoke at last. "Hundreds, maybe thousands of rogue ninjas sprung out at us. It's a wonder any of us survived."

"Your chakra must have depleted from all those shadow possessions. You were on the front lines." Naruto reminded him. "I admit when you disappeared in the swarm of ninjas I thought you were dead."

“Why aren’t I?” Shikamaru questioned bitterly.

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, but in the same instant, the medical ninja finally got to her feet. Shikamaru listened to the woman describe his injuries along with the detailed instructions he never intended to follow; they were too troublesome. He didn't miss the way Naruto avoided eye contact with him after she was gone or the guilt etched on his ordinarily bright face. Something was wrong.

“Where is my father?” It dawned on Shikamaru that he had opened his eyes twice now and neither time was Shikaku present.

That shameful flash reached Naruto's eyes. Unbeknownst to Shikamaru was that Naruto insisted on being the one to tell him about his father, yet now that the time had arisen he couldn't find the words. Instead, he rummaged through his bag and extracted a forehead protector which he delicately placed on Shikamaru's chest. He didn't need to say who it belonged to, Shikamaru had already known. He waited for an onslaught of emotions. Grief, rage, loneliness, disappointment, self-hatred, fear. But to his utmost surprise, none of them ever came. In fact, Shikamaru felt nothing. Nothing at all.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Shikamaru glared at the ceiling of the tent wishing he could fall asleep. Ever since learning about his father's untimely death, the spiky-haired ninja was preoccupied in his overactive mind. Sleep seemed impossible when his thoughts were racing by too quickly to pay much attention to any singular one. Telling his mother was going to be far beyond troublesome. He rolled his eyes and firmly decided not to let himself go there. He shifted his gaze to peer out of his tent; the flap had been left slightly ajar just enough for him to look at something other than the depressing green canvas surrounding him for the past few days. It was eerily quiet and nearly pitch black save for the lone fire pit raging not too far away. 

Most of the survivors were probably asleep by now. Those who were physically fit would spend the day scouting ahead ensuring another ambush wasn't in the works with their numbers much too depleted to withstand another fight. Anyone with severe injuries rendering them incapable of assisting in any way, such as Shikamaru himself, required constant care both from medical ninjas and even those untrained to heal because there weren't enough skilled shinobi to take care of everyone. The remaining ninjas, presumably injured but still functional, would need to stock their provisions and maintain order through cleaning, feeding and protecting. Daunting responsibilities fell on all of them, so it didn't surprise Shikamaru to see only a few ninjas gathered around the fire. He didn't recognize any of them.

A dull throb at the center of his back reminded the genius that he hadn't moved at all since first waking up and who knew how long he'd been unconscious in the first place. The additional information Naruto gave him was murky as expected, the blonde wasn't known for his close attention to detail and all things considered watching what everyone else did during a war just wasn't possible. Naruto did not know precisely what had become of Shikamaru after he blacked out. Shikamaru would wager a guess that he'd been lying unconscious for roughly three days before finally coming to again. Between whatever pain medicines he took and the chakra treatments he had been in and out since then over a period of one week.

All this laying around still grated at the better part of his nerves and motivated him to push himself up on his elbows. A blaze of hot white searing pain bolted through his stomach forcing him on his back again with a thud. He had to wonder if someone had trampled over his body at one point or another since he couldn't think of another single reason why he could be in so much pain. Yes, Naruto explained that they retrieved him from a core where their enemies were congregating, but even accounting for that the way his body responded every time he attempted to move felt out of place.

"You are incredibly stubborn."

Shikamaru nearly jumped out of his skin, and if it weren't for the ache still rippling just within his muscles, he probably would have physically jumped as well. He turned his head to the far corner of the small tent, eyes widening unnecessarily since the voice had already announced the man's presence. Neji bore an oddly apologetic expression despite his closed eyes.

"It's not a great sign that you couldn't detect me sitting here," Neji commented.

“Is there something particularly interesting about this tent or are you just determined to scare the life out of me?” Shikamaru asked.

At that Neji cracked an eye open and said, “This is my tent.”

“Oh,” was all Shikamaru could say.

Only then did it occur to Shikamaru he'd been laying in a regular camping tent— the ones Konoha ninjas carried on long excursions or time-consuming missions for a quick rest— and not in a medical tent where someone in his condition ought to be. In fact, the medical ninja who had been attending to him was only a field medic.

“All of the medical tents are full. I volunteered mine.” Neji supplied without needing to be asked.

“Why?” Shikamaru frowned a little.

Both of Neji’s eyes were open and gave him a slightly curious stare. "I figured you would prefer it to being exposed to the outside elements."

“No,” Shikamaru corrected. “I mean I’m grateful. It’s just—”

 _We aren’t friends_ is what he wanted to say, hardly acquaintances. Times of war required uncomfortable living conditions, countless injuries, less than acceptable bathing options. Shikamaru wasn't sure he would share his tent with his best friend let alone an injured ninja he barely knew.

“I’m not in here often.” Neji offered like he could see the wheels turning in Shikamaru’s head.

Right, Neji was a member of ANBU. They were rarely afforded breaks during regular missions where they escorted jōnin and other such ninjas. Of course, since they were recovering from a brutal war all ANBU would be in the field until the point of exhaustion. After all, ANBU were Konoha's pride and joy, their greatest line of both offense and defense and therefore most capable of enduring beyond ordinary limits.

"Everyone is doing their best to be useful," Neji spoke quietly. "I figured I should do my part, too."

 Neji Hyūga, dutiful to a fault and without fail. The man was a soldier not only for ANBU and Konoha but to his family. Neji had a clear grasp on what it meant to be a shinobi and always followed through in whatever capacity required of him without complaint. This was not the sole reason, but certainly one of the main ones why the long-haired ninja had climbed the ranks so quickly.

"Thank you," Shikamaru said.

Neji shrugged. “Don’t mention it. But you should probably get some rest.”

"I'd love to, but my back is hurting pretty bad," Shikamaru admitted.

Barely-lilac eyes scanned Shikamaru’s form in a few seconds then he nodded his head and got to his feet in such a fluid, graceful swoop that the younger man felt genuinely impressed.

"I'll get a medic," Neji announced.

There was no point trying to stop Neji, once the man made up his mind not much could be done to change it. How troublesome. He didn't want to be any more of a burden than he already knew he was. Neji may have willingly suggested Shikamaru could stay in his tent, but only because he felt obligated to do so, compelled by the training and instructions that'd been beaten into him since he was an infant. The man would never voice a word of protest. 

A medical ninja did appear after only a few moments passing, but Neji didn't return. Once again, the tent flap was left open enough for Shikamaru to gaze outside. He spotted the Hyūga by the campfire talking with Kakashi. More likely than not the copy ninja was thrust into a position of leadership if many of their captains had fallen in battle. Kakashi didn't particularly care for such responsibility, and Shikamaru could empathize with him. Two more ANBU members joined the duo, one Shikamaru saw was Sasuke Uchiha. More to the point, Sasuke Uchiha moving uncharacteristically slow and with a limp.

Apparently, there was no time for recovering because the four of them pulled their masks on and disappeared into the night. Incessant thoughts of being useless to his comrades devoured the remainder of Shikamaru's sanity. He was only tormented further when at last the medical ninja found a way to provide him with enough relief he could fall into a deep sleep.

He dreamed vividly about his father all through the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chōji Akimichi came to see Shikamaru two days later. War had aged his closest friend, Chōji’s eyes were sunken deeper than he remembered and even though it was impossible Shikamaru found that his face seemed much older than when they’d left Konoha. With some assistance from Chōji, Shikamaru was brought limping to a log just outside of the tent, finally able to sit up and stretch his stiff limbs despite the way his broken leg protested to the movement. His friend had thought to bring a bucket of water from the river and a sponge so Shikamaru could dab himself down, washing away days old crusted blood and dirt from places a medical ninja wouldn't have ventured. He put most of his weight on the good leg through the ordeal and listened intently to Chōji.

The number of ninjas lost on the battlefield was far greater than what Shikamaru had imagined; the fact visibly shook him as he thought about just how many people he would never see again. In the meanwhile, Konoha had been attacked by a subunit that had managed to slip past the leaf village's crumbling defense lines. According to Chōji, only a dozen or so were killed back home, but much of the village would require substantial repairs over several years. Briefly, Shikamaru thought about his mother then reminded himself the stubborn woman couldn't die from an invasion. He hoped their herd of deer wasn't shaken up too badly.

“They’re sending more ninja to scout ahead. There’s only a couple of ANBU wandering the campsite for defensive purposes.” Chōji revealed.

"That explains why it's so quiet today," Shikamaru spoke.

Not that things were ever particularly loud. Konoha had won yet it didn't feel like a victory. Everyone had lost too much whether personal losses or physical damage. Knowing that when they returned home, they'd face even more loss didn't exactly lift anyone's spirits. The only person Shikamaru could hear gabbing now and then was Naruto who did his very best to stay positive if for no other reason than to cheer up his teammates. Even still, from Shikamaru's stationary position he could feel things were different today. Maybe his ninja instincts were finally creeping back to him.

“Where’s Neji?” he asked absentmindedly.

“Neji, hm?” Chōji chuckled. “What do you have, Stockholm syndrome for the rescued?”

“Huh?” Shikamaru frowned. “You’re making even less sense than usual.”

“Wait. Are you saying you don’t know?” Chōji stared dumbfound at the shadow manipulator for a moment before offering a sympathetic smile. “Neji saved your life.”

Shikamaru waited for the punch line to a joke he didn’t understand and when one didn’t come he at the very least anticipated a thorough explanation. Instead, his chubby friend popped open a bag of chips and began munching without breaking their eye contact. Shikamaru cleared his throat then gestured for Chōji to continue.

"Hyūga is a hero, everyone thinks so. When the ambush happened, most of our fighters were forced to defend, to stay in one spot and fight off the ninjas coming from every direction. But Neji kept moving, went straight into the heap of fallen comrades to bring back as many as he could while still slaughtering the enemy." Chōji looked uncharacteristically impressed. "It was incredible."

Shikamaru would have expected such a brave act from Naruto, the man hated war and death, maintaining relationships was the most important thing to him. He regularly preached about the value of friendship. The blonde could easily be swept up in a fit of protective rage. Shikamaru could even see Sasuke risking his life to help others. Sasuke had a hero complex, that was Shikamaru's opinion, and even though he had been cleared of criminal charges for treason against the village, Uchiha always seemed to itch to prove himself.

But Neji? Hyūga wasn't a cruel man or selfish for that matter, Shikamaru couldn't imagine him as someone to risk himself for others. The long-haired ninja was turned to for guidance particularly when it came to strategy or as the voice of reason when making difficult decisions. He was one of the few to be trusted with ANBU's motto _"the mission comes first"_ despite all team members taking that oath. Shikamaru had witnessed situations where anyone else could've faltered by making emotional directives or being distracted from the greater good by personal gain. Neji Hyūga did not succumb to any such weaknesses. 

“So that’s how I survived.” Shikamaru mused.

"You and about a two dozen others," Chōji added. "Even after sustaining several fatal injuries himself, Neji just kept going back into the fray."

He developed a newfound respect for the Hyūga prodigy. Shikamaru reflected on what it meant to be a ninja and the shinobi way. They'd all been born and raised as fighters; they knew what their lives would be like, and yet he found himself genuinely fascinated by Neji's actions. He could never have the courage to knowingly rush into nearly certain death just on the pure impulse of protecting others. Shikamaru by no means was a weak man, he ranked in the village's top twenty, but he knew his limits, and when faced with impossible odds his instincts told him to survive. Neji Hyūga was a hero indeed. 

His thoughts were distracted by a loud squawk and a flash of black feathers too close to his face for comfort. Shikamaru actually jumped then cursed at the creature. He cast his eyes in the direction it had flown off in the distance and spotted Sasuke Uchiha knelt on one knee feeding a flock of crows- including the very bastard that had just tried to assault Shikamaru. The figure standing beside him was instantly recognized as Neji although he was facing the other direction and his long brown locks were gathered in a ponytail at the base of his neck. Shikamaru watched curiously wondering why Sasuke appeared so content feeding those dirty birds and why Neji didn't seem fazed at all. Troublesome.

He was going to have to remember to thank Neji later.


	5. Chapter 5

Sleep was without a doubt Shikamaru's favorite pastime, second only to cloud gazing, except now he almost hated to fall asleep. He felt even more exhausted after getting a bit of slumber than he did staying awake for hours on end. He woke to the familiar presence of someone nearby. Shikamaru had gotten used to watching Neji's shadow come and go, but without being able to get a decent reading on the newcomer's chakra just yet, he couldn't dismiss whatever or whoever had disturbed him. They were still in enemy territory and no matter how lazy he was the risk of not opening his eyes was far too great. To his relief, it was indeed Neji ducking inside the tent.

“Did I wake you?”

Neji hadn’t even looked at him yet. He sat on his own cot without removing his ANBU mask, more likely than not he expected to be called away again at any moment. Shikamaru observed his savior silently, noted that Neji looked positively drained. Once again, though, the man maintained his poised demeanor and full alertness in a way that only Hyūgas could. The ponytail Neji kept at the base of his neck when operating the field as ANBU was placed up higher this time, near the center of his head. Shikamaru pondered over how Neji could function with so much hair. Didn't enemies try to grab him by it? Hadn't he ever snagged it in a tree branch? 

Realizing he had been asked a question, Shikamaru finally answered. “Nah, I’ve been sleeping too much anyway.”

The older ninja grunted in response as he peeled his mask off and dumped it on the ground and carefully began the process of tugging his hair free, doing his best to rip out as few strands as possible. Shikamaru watched, entranced by the long, dark, silky locks spilling like ink around Neji’s shoulders. Skilled fingers weaved in and out of the hair, combing knots free. Shikamaru didn’t even notice he had been staring until he heard Neji’s voice.

“Nara, have you spotted something especially ghastly or did you have a stroke?”

Was that _humor_ from Neji Hyūga?

“Sorry. Do you ever think about cutting it?” His tone sounded bored, but Shikamaru was genuinely curious.

The Hyūga would still look pretty good with hair just past his shoulders instead of down his waist.

"My hair is significant to me," Neji said, but to avoid sounding a bit girly, he added, "My father kept his long. He always looked very distinguished."

That made sense to Shikamaru who then asked, “How do you keep it out of your way?”

“Typically, tying just the ends will keep it in place. The hair still flows, but nothing is going to blow in my face. A ponytail will do in situations like these where it could slow me down.” Neji continued raking fingers through his hair as he spoke, silver eyes trained on Shikamaru’s dark ones.

“How about a bun?” Shikamaru suggested.

Even in a ponytail, it left quite a bit of hair dangling free. Neji must have been amused because his lips quirked at the ends slightly and even though the expression was one uncommon for the older man Shikamaru thought it looked natural. Neji gathered his smooth locks in one hand like he was fastening a ponytail then began wrapping it around to frame a bun. Shikamaru hadn't realized just how thick Hyūga's mane was until he saw how large the mass of hair was turning out.

“That’s got to be heavy.” He muttered, riveted.

“It is. Puts too much pressure on my neck.”

As Neji's hair was released and once again draping over his shoulders, it occurred to Shikamaru that this was the most they had spoken since he woke up. In fact, this might be the most he had ever heard the ANBU member speak apart from giving orders when on a mission. Not that they had discussed anything of great importance, hair wasn't exactly near the top of the list of things Shikamaru ought to be thinking about at a time like this. Fabric shuffling beside him meant that Neji was stripping out of his ANBU gear. Shikamaru thought it must be later in the night than he initially suspected. There wasn't a pattern per say to the times when Neji returned from scouting, but there seemed to be a two-hour window at some ungodly hour in the morning that the man had a reprieve. Usually, Shikamaru slept during that time and would see Neji leaving a while later.

“Your move.”

Lazy eyes shifted from the ceiling to Neji then to the shōgi board sitting between the two cots on top of a pack of clothing. When the hell had Neji set that up? Shikamaru took his time rolling onto his side, mostly because his muscles demanded he do so, but also to give himself a chance to mask his excitement. Bored didn't even come close to describing his feelings about laying around all day long.

“I always play as black.” Shikamaru half complained half smirked.

“Black goes first. I need a handicap.” Neji explained coolly. “I’ve heard how good you are.”

Modest as the Hyūga was, Shikamaru had also heard plenty about the genius’ intellect and by no means did he expect this to be an easy win. A challenge. The only people Shikamaru cared to play shōgi with were his father and former sensei. Asuma at least understood he was out-matched and instead of trying to beat Shikamaru usually spent the game analyzing, trying to trick him and developing new scenarios which the cloud-loving ninja would have to solve. He appreciated the effort his sensei gave.

His father, on the other hand, was much better at shōgi than he had ever shown to Shikamaru, even though he regularly defeated his son. Shikamaru, as intelligent as everyone knew he was and as many steps ahead of everyone else as he usually was had often lost to his father without even realizing it. A game between Shikaku and Shikamaru could go on for hours sometimes ending in a deadlock, but the younger Nara had a sinking suspicion that his father intentionally did not win. On some level maybe it was to spend time together.

Shikamaru’s mother knew better than to bother her stubborn Nara men once they started a game of shōgi, in fact, it was the only time they spent alone. They required no talking and preferred if there wasn’t any. As far as Shikamaru was concerned, his father was a better person than himself for lowering his skill level just to do some bonding. Or perhaps he wanted to force Shikamaru to use his brain more. Whatever the reason, Shikamaru never bothered pretending that he wasn’t good at shōgi even if it was against his friends. That was probably why people had stopped challenging him, and he was grateful for it. When he moved his first piece, Shikamaru frowned, coming to terms with the fact that he would never play another game with his father again. He hadn't thought of that before.

“You're thinking too loud," Neji said softly. "Tell me about your father?”

Small, dark eyes bore into Neji, wide and unblinking for a whole minute. No, Neji couldn't read minds. But like himself, Neji was very intuitive and understood the human mind as well as people's behavior. He didn't need to be a close friend of Shikamaru's to line up two key facts- Shikaku had just died, Shikamaru and his father played this board game often. Naturally, Neji had deduced what might be distracting Shikamaru in the same way the shadow ninja could anticipate his opponent's next move. Now came the tricky part in answering Neji's question. Ordinarily, Shikamaru did not care to discuss his family or personal thoughts and feelings for that matter because, for lack of a better term, they were troublesome. He did not expect nor want pity or words of understanding. Although, something told him that Neji wasn't the sensitive type.

But what could he say about his father? They continued to play in comfortable silence which Shikamaru greatly appreciated and could not think of another person, besides his father, who knew when to keep from talking. If he so desired, Neji could've filled the space with scripture about death and loss and how to move on. He could have probed further. Shikamaru didn't get the feeling that Neji had asked the question out of obligation, nothing else about the older man's posture or behavior indicated otherwise. The shadow manipulator decided that Neji deserved an answer, a proper one and strangely found that he _wanted_ to give one.

“He was exceptionally brilliant.” Shikamaru finally replied.

“He sounds wonderful.”

Their eyes met, and the intensity in Neji's pale orbs seized Shikamaru by the throat where his breath caught for half of a second before he finally got a grip. A silent understanding passed between them. Understanding that Neji would not ask for any more information or further details unless Shikamaru desired to share. Understanding that though Shikamaru was brief, he had disclosed what he considered to be the most important thing about his father which spoke volumes to his respect for the Hyūga. Mutual respect it seemed.

Being able to communicate silently with others appeared to be a far-fetched, lazy dream in Shikamaru's mind. Finding the right words always felt too troublesome, but being in sync with someone enough to read a single look or simple body movement required a deep level of comprehension many did not care enough to put forth. Even his closest friends were a stark difference to his own personality and would often comment about how difficult he was for his lack of interest in explaining himself. It was refreshing to be around someone who didn’t nag him to talk more.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

He intended to dismiss Neji's words with a casual wave, but when his eyes fell on the board, he realized there was a dual meaning in them. Shikamaru's mouth opened and closed twice not sure how to voice his irritation or the simultaneous contrast of astonishment. Shikamaru Nara lost a game of shōgi.


	6. Chapter 6

The rain came beating down on the campground for three days straight, drenching the tattered ninjas' supplies in an onslaught that didn't appear to be letting up anytime soon, which was a pain since they were going to resume travel in a day or two. Neji slipped into the tent sopping wet and apparently pissed about it, even more so when he caught the glimmer of amusement in Shikamaru's eyes.

“I guess it’s still raining, right?”

The deliberate sarcasm in his voice ticked Neji off further, but instead of letting it show he flashed a dangerous smile. Before Shikamaru could calculate the meaning, Neji began wringing his hair out over Shikamaru.

“Ah!” He yelped. “Hey, come on!”

"I figured since you can't go outside, I'd bring some of the outdoor pleasantries to you," Neji explained.

“Gee, thanks.” Shikamaru huffed.

He watched Neji as he pulled off as many damp layers as possible without getting naked then went right into the routine of combing his knotty locks. Shikamaru considered his next words for a long time. By now he ought to have a decent handle on what he wanted to say, he'd been thinking it over since Chōji first told him what Neji had done. But he was not one to make casual conversation just for the hell of it, and he was terrible with expressing his sentiments, even with something so basic as thanking the Hyūga for saving his life. To be fair, Neji didn't spend a lot of time in the tent, so Shikamaru hadn't had a slew of opportunities to offer his gratitude.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He blurted out.

For once, Neji wasn’t a dozen steps ahead and looked genuinely confused. “Hm?”

“You saved my life.” Shikamaru clarified. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Neji held him in a gaze that Shikamaru could not seem to break from as he finished untangling his tresses then gave a simple roll of his shoulders.

“What sort of person brags about a thing like that?” Neji asked.

"Kiba, probably. Maybe Naruto." Shikamaru offered sincerely.

Neji rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t worth mentioning.”

“I wouldn’t _be_ here if it wasn’t for you. That’s worth it to me.” Shikamaru argued.

“Shikamaru, I did my job. What every shinobi would have done.” The brunette spoke dismissively.

"Bullshit. No one else was willing to sacrifice themselves for potential survivors. No one else bothered even to attempt what you were doing."

Somehow, he had rendered Neji speechless, the typically collected Hyūga tried and failed a few times to refute Shikamaru’s statement and found himself at a loss. His brows knitted together in frustration still searching for a reasonable thing to say. Evidently, the attention made Neji uncomfortable, and Shikamaru felt a twinge of guilt for having expected the man might be the type to let his ego get filled with such glory.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to shower you with praise and awards. You're going to get enough of that back home." Shikamaru reassured.

Neji visibly relaxed, his shoulders slightly slumped and his eyes danced with unspoken relief. It must be happening already, Shikamaru concluded, all the compliments and hero talk among those who had witnessed with their own eyes. After so much time word of mouth meant everyone on the campsite knew, everyone was probably gossiping about it incessantly. And why shouldn't they? Neji _had_ done something heroic. The man deserved whatever kind words and flattery their comrades had to offer him, but Shikamaru wasn’t unsympathetic to how tiresome it sounded. He knew that Neji had not saved him personally for any reason other than the fact that he was a fellow ninja and was still alive at the time of rescue, but that was good enough for Shikamaru. So he gave his appreciation in the simplest way he knew how with as few words as he could muster.

“Thank you, Neji.”

Neji scowled and echoed a familiar word. "Troublesome."

Shikamaru found that he didn't mind hearing his signature phrase directed to him. Not from the Hyūga at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapters are on the way. The bulk of the story takes place after they return to Konoha, but the buildup is necessary, too.


	7. Chapter 7

The departure for Konoha was delayed when incessant rainfall turned into torrential downpours and rolling thunderstorms. Shikamaru found that even though he was antsy to start moving around again and face whatever damage awaited back home, he did not mind being stuck on the campsite a little while longer. Neji was finally off rotation long enough that they spent more waking hours together, sometimes in natural conversation others with pleasant silence, but always playing a game of shōgi. Shikamaru couldn't sleep much, and Neji was never tired enough to try.

Their routine went on for some time until the campground received news of enemy ninjas on the forefront advancing toward their group. After that, Neji understandably had been deployed with the other ANBU members. Five days ago. Shikamaru wasn’t worried exactly, but he did miss the company. Chōji, being one of the few non-incapacitated ninjas left behind, reported that they should be returning soon as the warning was only a fluke.

When Neji finally came into their shared tent again, he was injured, cradling an arm to his chest and flinching every time he moved. The man looked awful. His already lightly colored eyes seemed emptier than usual, devoid of the lilac hue Shikamaru came to expect when he looked at his friend. His ANBU mask dangled from the holster on his waist, it was cracked at the forehead and missing a sizeable chunk from one side. The remainder of Neji’s uniform was spattered with blood Shikamaru hoped belonged to someone else.

"They tell me the war is nearly over, but when you come back looking like that, it's hard to believe," Shikamaru commented.

"We crossed paths with an Akatsuki recruit team," Neji explained. "Our group had already split up, and I was the only ANBU, we had no choice but to flee."

“I’m just glad you came back.” The sincerity in his words surprised them both.

Neji kept the air between them light and said, “Worried about me are you, Shikamaru?”

"No," Shikamaru snorted. "I thought I would have to find another worthy opponent for shōgi."

Hyūga laughed openly for the first time Shikamaru had witnessed, but surely it couldn’t be the first time _ever_. Neji sat on the edge of Shikamaru’s cot and focused on waving chakra across his broken arm.

"You can use medical jutsu?" Shikamaru was dumbfounded.

"Only the basics, I'm not very good," Neji answered, his brow furrowed.

“Is there anything you _can’t_ do?” The shadow ninja wondered aloud.

For several minutes the only thing Shikamaru could hear inside the tent was the sound of Neji breathing. Unusual— the man didn’t make much noise even if the task itself _should_ be noisy. It sounded as if the older man was having difficulty. Shikamaru shifted his gaze to the gray vest across Neji’s chest and frowned upon coming to the understanding that the blood there didn’t belong to the enemy.

"I can't crochet," Neji spoke at last.

Shikamaru had nearly forgotten he posed the rhetorical question aloud, but when it came back to him, he only shook his head and chuckled. Humor suited the Hyūga, although from what he already knew about the ANBU operative it wasn't a side of himself that was often expressed. Shikamaru felt genuinely pleased to be one of the few privy to seeing Neji in a less guarded frame of mind. When he looked at Neji again, his gaze was not returned. Instead, Hyūga's slightly drooping eyes were fixed on his ANBU mask, and he was biting the corner of his lips subtly.

So subtly that had Shikamaru not spent all his time around the older ninja recently he would have missed it, but he had long since come to realize it meant Neji was no longer with him. Sometimes, when Neji came back from wherever he had drifted, he'd share the details with Shikamaru, always selective about which things were appropriate. Shikamaru appreciated the filter. Neji had seen more of the war than he had and often recalled flashes of events out of the blue; plenty were gruesome enough to churn Shikamaru's stomach.

> _Sharingan disappeared from the raven’s bulging eyes as they reverted to black and he was frozen in place, gazing in disbelief at the ponytailed ninja hacking away at his teammates. His blood was stone cold, moving like jagged shards of ice in his veins that had completely immobilized him. Not so deep down he **knew** it wasn't possible, he knew he was either imagining things or someone had intentionally played a vile trick on him. And even though he knew it, he could not bring himself to stop seeing the cloaked figure as anything more than a ghost of his past. One he longed to see but knew he couldn't. Fear seized him from the inside out, creeping up his throat to suffocate him._
> 
> _“Sasuke!”_
> 
> _Someone was calling him. His name rattled around his head, superseded by another Uchiha's name. Strong hands snatched him from a line of direct fire; fingers dug into his shoulders as he was shaken almost violently. It did little to disturb him from his thoughts. The brunette in front of him waited patiently for a reaction that never came then whipped his head around to follow Sasuke's gaze. His eyes doubled in size, and he turned back to his masked friend._
> 
> _“Sasuke, that’s not Itachi. Snap out of it!”_
> 
> _Once again, no response was given, and Sasuke did not so much as budge when he was shaken even harder this time. Cursing, the long-haired ninja disobeyed every regulation as an ANBU by lifting his mask up into his hair to reveal his face. Neji steered Sasuke to look at him, lifted the younger's mask as well and peered into his eyes. Nobody was home. Their opponents had done a damn good job in replicating the late Uchiha, Neji would give them that much. From the deep-set tear troughs and center-parted bangs right down to the polish on his nails, the stranger bore more of a resemblance to Itachi Uchiha than Neji could conjure up in memory alone._
> 
> _“That’s not him, Sas.” Neji soothed. “Come back.”_
> 
> _It took several long minutes, far longer than they could spare, before the light returned to Sasuke's onyx eyes. He blinked a few times trying to regroup, and when he finally focused on Neji, there was new determination fluttering in his features._
> 
> _“We have to move.” Neji urged._
> 
> _Sasuke grunted and tugged Neji’s mask back down then growled, “That one is mine.”_

A tap on the closed tent flap startled them both. Sasuke poked his head in with a bird on his shoulder, probably a raven judging by the size of it. Shikamaru eyed the feathered fiend warily, fully aware he now possessed an aversion to birds after the one a few weeks ago that had tried to tear his eye out. Or something like that.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion.” Sasuke apologized.

His keen eyes fell on Neji, a flash of concern, anger, and relief flickered in his dark orbs so quickly Shikamaru nearly missed it.

“Gai wants us.”

Neji bowed his head in understanding, squeezed Shikamaru's knee and slipped out of the tent. As they walked away, he heard Neji murmur "Don't fuss, Sasuke. I'm alright."

 


	8. Chapter 8

The soft voices speaking outside the tent roused Shikamaru from his slumber. He didn't bother to move for a while, still shaking away his sleepiness so he could focus on the conversation. Neji was talking, and even though he could only catch a few words, he knew they were discussing strategy. The rain finally slowed to a soft drizzle, barely making any noise against the tent. Someone interjected— loud, annoying and overly excited. Naruto, of course. Shikamaru couldn't hear what Neji said next, but in one single calm line, he managed to shut the blonde down entirely. The shadow wielder found himself respecting Neji's capabilities as a leader more and more.

He rolled onto his back to watch the ceiling of the tent; his go-to place since usually he'd be staring at the clouds in this position. When he got back to the village, he would have to tell his mother about what happened. What a drag. She would probably be even more forward than usual, try even harder to involve herself in Shikamaru's business. Given his injuries, Shikamaru would be one of the last groups going home which meant his mother might find out about Shikaku’s passing before he returned. She might be waiting for him upon arrival at the village gates.

“Troublesome.” He grumbled.

“Oh?”

He hadn’t seen, heard or felt Neji approaching, but the ANBU’s voice no longer startled him into stiffness like before. Umber eyes fell on Neji as he passed over to his cot and sat with a heavy sigh.

"Don't tell me you need to take another piss." Neji guessed.

Shikamaru smiled at the seamless ease Neji made him feel. “Nah, not this time.”

“Then what pray tell could possibly be so troublesome?” Neji inquired.

Shikamaru focused on Neji dressed in his ANBU attire save for his gray vest, skin still glistening from the rain, long locks bound tight at the base of his neck- though it would probably be set free at any moment. Further inspection brought his attention to the tattoo on Neji's arm, branding him a member of ANBU. He wondered if Neji had struggled to accept that he would once again have his body marked to remind him of his place, where he belonged and who controlled his fate. At least Neji’d had a choice in the matter when it came to joining ANBU and knew full well he would receive the mark.

“Just thinking about going home.” He admitted.

Neji scanned his face for a few seconds. “Your mother.”

“Yeah, she’s going to be a real pain from now on. Home _sweet_ home.” Shikamaru clicked his tongue.

A lightness came to Neji's eyes, soft and amused. He untied the ANBU mask from his belt— the Hyūga's preferred place to keep it when he didn't need his face covered— and set it aside. As Shikamaru suspected, the routine of hair combing ensued. After that, he paused to give Shikamaru along considerate stare.

"You could move in with me if you wanted."

“At the Hyūga compound?” Shikamaru almost laughed. “Tch, no offense, Neji, but I get the feeling your folks are even _more_ troublesome."

"I won't be living there any longer; I have my own place." Neji clarified.

"And just like that, you're offering to let me live with you?" Shikamaru didn't hide the skepticism from his voice or face.

Neji paused in his ministrations of weaving through tangled locks. “Yes?”

It apparently was very simple to Neji; he looked at Shikamaru slightly perplexed.

"Besides, when my clan murders me for treachery at least my home will be in good hands," Neji added.

It was a joke, Shikamaru knew it, but there was a serious undertone in Neji’s voice that made him hesitate.

“Hyūgas get punished for moving out?” He asked.

Neji chuckled, tossed his hair over his shoulder and said, “How many Hyūgas do you see living in their own apartment?”

Good point. The answer was none. That did little to settle Shikamaru’s concerns that Neji might honestly be punished for not wanting to live with the monsters who wouldn’t even treat him like an equal. Neji must have read the unease on Shikamaru’s face.

"As long as I fulfill my obligations to the main house it should not be a problem. The offer stands if you're interested."

It was a no-brainer for Shikamaru. He and Neji got along well enough; they shared similar interests and effortless conversation. Their glaring differences namely being Shikamaru's insufferable sarcasm and laziness against Hyūga's excessively strict morals and opinions did not get in the way enough to matter. Plus, with Neji being in ANBU their interactions would be a bare minimum. They would have a little bit of companionship, something both required even if they were too stubborn to admit or too lazy to maintain. All in all, Shikamaru couldn't see any negatives.

“I’ll take that offer.” Shikamaru accepted gratefully. “Anything is better than back home.”

He observed Neji idly, the man was pulling his shirt off and once it was gone his hair had frizzed slightly. Scowling, Neji frantically smoothed it into place before tugging on a new shirt to repeat the process. Assuming the elder would be changing his pants next, Shikamaru closed his eyes and hummed, content with their agreement.

“Is she really that bad?” Neji asked.

“You have no idea,” Shikamaru popped an eye open to see Neji’s reaction when he tested out his next word. “ _Roomie._ ”

Neji stiffened, raised an elegant brow. “Let’s start with the dos and don’ts of living together, shall we?”

Shikamaru snickered. Yes, this arrangement would be perfect.


	9. Chapter 9

When morning came, the rain had stopped completely. Shikamaru looked over at Neji who had his back to him and was shirtless. He watched the subtle sway of his soon-to-be-roommate's hair each time the Hyūga moved and found the effect like that of waves shifting. He wondered if the rumors of Neji stowing weapons bound to his back hidden beneath his hair were real. Neji could feel eyes on him but saw no need to draw attention to it; there was no threat or malice in Shikamaru's gaze. He pulled on a clean black ANBU shirt and his vest before turning to his comrade.

“I’ve set up a little puzzle for you.” He announced, gesturing to the shōgi board Shikamaru hadn’t noticed yet.

Shikamaru's team wouldn't move for another two days. Sure, it wouldn't take quite that long for Shikamaru to either give up or find a solution, but at least it would keep him busy for a few hours. With the lazy ninja's brain heavily sedated, he didn't quite have all his wits together just yet. He'd only beaten Neji twice during the dozen or so times they'd played and truthfully Hyūga had let him win for an ego boost so Shikamaru wouldn't be too discouraged to continue.

He suspected Shikamaru knew, but there was no reason for either to bring it up. He had arranged the shōgi pieces in the most intricate deadlock he could manage in such a short amount of time, but it was plenty difficult. Shikamaru murmured a word of thanks and shuffled closer to the board, eager to give his mind some simulation. Neji resumed packing his bag for the trip, silently appreciating the quiet scuff of pieces moving around.

Perhaps inviting Shikamaru to live with him had been a very good idea after all. He'd offered on instinct without thinking it through— a shock to himself because after living with his entire clan the appeal of being alone was immense. Nara was pleasant enough, far too lackadaisical to be much trouble and on occasion managed to make Neji laugh. His ears perked when Shikamaru grunted then flopped back on the cot. Shikamaru had given up already? Masking a smile, Neji glanced at the board, He was utterly stunned.

The jōnin had undone the deadlock and won the game. If Neji were the kind of man to let his jaw drop now would've been as good a time as any for it to happen. But he was not, so it did not occur. He stared openly for several long minutes at the shadow ninja who was gazing peacefully at the tent flap. Neji excused himself quietly then walked briskly across the terrain, still maintaining his usual air of calm poise as he approached a small group of comrades.

"We need to change our strategy," Neji spoke calmly, loud enough for all of them to hear, but it was Sasuke he looked in the eyes.

“Yeah? What’ve you got in mind?” The raven queried.

"Shikamaru Nara needs to be on the preliminary team. My suggestion would be to swap you into the second team and move Naruto to team three." Neji directed.

“ _What?!”_ Naruto erupted with his usual stupidly clueless expression.

Sasuke studied Neji for a long time, processing what had just been said. "I understand Shikamaru for Naruto. If need be, Naruto can cover the long range. Why not put Shikamaru in team two?"

“He’s brilliant.” Neji paused. “Team one is most likely to encounter enemy assault. There’s no one better equipped to give combat orders.”

Sasuke smirked and pretended to be offended. “Are you suggesting I’m not smart enough to plan our battlefield?”

Neji shook his head. "Not at all. But Shikamaru's brain is built for strategy; he will be most effective."

Uchiha pursed his lips as he considered the older man’s words.

"Sorry to interrupt your speech, your Highness, but maybe you've forgotten Shikamaru is _immobile_. He can't travel with the first team; it'll take too long." Kiba interjected.

"I will be solely responsible for Shikamaru's transport," Neji assured the dog lover.

“That’s supposed to make me feel better?” Kiba snorted. “So, the eyes and the brains will both be lagging behind. Sounds like a terrible plan.”

“Don’t underestimate my abilities, Inuzuka," Neji warned.

“I suppose the trade makes sense. I’ll head team two, but that gives us an extra man.” Sasuke pointed out.

"Kiba will come with team one," Hyūga said.

“Fuck you, Princess. Don’t move me around on a whim.” Kiba growled.

"You don't have to like my decision, and you don't have to like me." Neji stepped closer, still calm as ever though the fire in his eyes told another story. "But you _are_ going to follow my orders without question. Do not forget who's in command."

“What’s going on?” Kakashi yawned, already bored as he shuffled over.

“Neji is switching team members around.” Lee supplied helpfully.

Kakashi raised a brow. “Why?”

“Team one needs an operative best prepared to make sound battle choices. Shikamaru Nara.” Sasuke spoke.

The copy ninja seemed surprised not by the words, but by who had said them. Uchiha did not like being second best at anything, let alone admitting it out loud. To suggest someone else would be more logistically inclined certainly was a change from the old Sasuke. Not that he had been that person for quite some time.

He ran a hand through his gray hair and shrugged. “Makes sense.”

Kiba and Neji looked at each other to exchange silent communication. Kiba promised to kick his ass later, Neji dared him to try. Without another word, the Hyūga prodigy nodded his thanks to Sasuke before retreating to his tent. He wasn’t even the least bit surprised to find Shikamaru with his eyes closed moments away from taking a nap. Shikamaru flinched when light cascaded over him. He peeked an eye open.

“It’s time to go, Shikamaru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Time to get out of the tent.


	10. Chapter 10

Being carried on someone’s back wasn’t exactly near the top of Shikamaru’s to-do list, particularly since it was _Neji_ carrying him and Nara felt as though he was racking up Hyūga debt faster than he could say troublesome. So far so good, the only issues they’d encountered was running into a rogue group of scouters from a neighboring village. Nothing the team couldn’t handle.

Shikamaru had been stowed away by a tree for safe keeping and fully intended to lend his shadow possession jutsu abilities to Neji, but the older male had cleared four ninjas on his own with barely enough effort to break a sweat. Shikamaru pondered how powerful the Hyūga had become over the recent years. They traveled in familiar silence interrupted every now and again by Neji murmuring commands to the team through his intercom.

“Would you like backup?”

Shikamaru almost didn’t hear the quiet, yet stern voice addressing him as they descended from the trees, heading straight along the ground path leading near the village.

“Backup?” Shikamaru repeated.

“With your mother.” Neji let the words digest. “Shikaku was part of my unit, I could deliver the news or at the very least stand by you as you give it.”

The shadow ninja frowned. “Why?”

"Perhaps it would help her to see you as a ninja returning from war instead of her son she has to protect," Neji explained.

Shikamaru had to wonder if this was shinobi instincts talking or personal experience.

Sensing his question, Neji said, “When my father took my uncle’s place to die, it was my uncle who later told me about it. Had he come with official clan members or even outside ninjas, I might have believed him when he said it was my father’s decision. Family ties are what sparked my outrage.”

That was understandable to Shikamaru, especially given what he knew about Neji's uncle. Neji had witnessed Hiashi torturing his father so many times that of course, he'd believe the decision was coerced at best.

"My ma is a stubborn woman, so I'm not sure she won't react just the same with you there." Shikamaru sighed, already worn out without having to face her yet. "But I could use the support.”

Neji nodded in silent agreement before he came to a slow stop a few feet short of the village. Shikamaru could see Konoha's entryway and eight of their comrades up ahead already waiting. They had broken off into three eighteen-man squads. Neji and Shikamaru stayed in the center of theirs to best use Hyūga's Byakugan abilities. Those very eyes were skimming the area, brows knitted tight as he lowered the shadow ninja to the ground.

He wasn't thrilled about leaving Shikamaru unprotected, but he didn't have any other choice. Besides, he got the distinct impression the figure bounding out of the forest was intended solely for him. A flash of shuriken stars zipped after Neji, easily blocked by a mere palm raise and a burst of chakra, but it served as a distraction.

“Hyūga!” Kiba bellowed, hurling himself at Neji.

They hit the ground in a puff of smoke, both throwing hits intent on destroying one another. Shikamaru blinked stupidly slow, briefly questioning what might have happened to make Kiba snap, especially when they were so close to home. The pair went blow for blow, growling viciously as they rolled around stirring up a cloud of dust big enough to draw their teammates' attention.

“What the fuck gives you the right to force me to the back end of the group?!” Kiba demanded as he clutched both of Neji’s fists in a deadlock.

“You mean besides the fact that I am your _captain?!_ " Neji shook him away easily and forced Kiba backward, then gut-checked him. "We are most likely to be attacked from behind. You serve best for our defensive lines. What don’t you understand?”

“Tch, bastard.” Kiba spit a wad of blood. “Pulling rank at a time like this. You can’t keep giving me the short end of the stick on a whim!”

“Do you even bother listening to anyone but yourself? Your position was assigned with basic strategic planning based upon your abilities.”

They were circling one another, keeping their eyes locked just waiting for a movement, any indication that the other would attack. Neji was not itching for a fight; they had been engaged in battle for nearly a month, he still required proper medical attention and for the past day and a half he had been carrying another ninja on his back. But he couldn't afford to let his guard down when it came to Kiba; the man was out for blood.

“Why can’t you just admit you’re abusing your power to punish me?” Kiba asked.

“And why can’t your canine sized brain comprehend common sense?” Neji retorted.

Kiba lunged first, but Neji countered without fault making sure to direct their fight further away from Shikamaru so he wouldn't get hit. How it happened, Shikamaru didn't know, he had been watching the whole time and yet somehow he missed it anyway. Kiba grabbed Neji by the end of his hair, stilling the Hyūga and wrapped it tightly around his fist yanking the other man close. He bared his fangs when he sneered, pleased with the irritation filling Neji's eyes.

“Nothing slick to say now, eh, Princess?” Kiba taunted.

Neji’s voice quivered nearly as much as the fists balled at his sides. “I _strongly_ suggest you release me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Kiba shouted, free hand pressing a kunai to Neji’s throat.

Neji stayed calm, didn’t so much as flinch at the blade.

“No one would miss you.” Kiba seethed. “If I killed you right now, no one would even shed a tear. Pathetic.”

“So, do it.” Neji challenged.

Kiba bit back a growl, tugged hard on Neji's hair to reveal more of his throat and skimmed the blade over sensitive flesh. His eyes twinkled as an idea struck him.

“Or maybe you should get to live in humiliation.” He trailed the kunai around Neji’s head to the lump of hair he had gathered in his other hand. “How about a haircut, Hyūga?”

Neji cracked his fist in Kiba's face, snapping the man's head to the side. Kiba never got the chance to recover. Neji knocked him down with his weight and snatched up the kunai. Shikamaru moved at lightning speed with his hand signals, shadows darting out to grab both men and halt their movements. Neji's eyes flicked in Shikamaru's direction, but he said nothing. He focused on his arm still in the air ready to stab Kiba in the shoulder.

Shikamaru realized that Neji was fighting the possession, fighting _hard_. The shadow wielder cringed. Neji was starting to move, slow and very strained, his muscles trembled but damn it he was moving. It should've been impossible. Shikamaru wanted to chalk it up to his chakra reserves still being low. He had a feeling that wasn't the problem. Neji released the kunai letting it clank beside Kiba's head then met Shikamaru's eyes again, silently swearing not to pick the weapon back up. Shikamaru released them.

Hyūga's forearm slammed across Kiba's throat pinning him in place. They were surrounded by all their teammates now, those bringing up the rear had caught up, and those at the village gates had wandered over to see all the commotion.

“This is the one and only time I am ever going to say this, so listen carefully. I am the captain of this squad; my decisions are to be followed without question. All directives are given based solely on what is best for the mission. If you _ever_ challenge me again, I will have you stripped of all your shinobi duties faster than you can blink.” Neji had never sounded more dangerous in his entire life. “Do I make myself clear?”

Kiba’s icy eyes glared back, defiance still swirling in them. He wanted to argue, to restart their brawl, but with so many people watching he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“Yes.” He growled.

“Move out. That’s an order.” Neji shoved off Kiba and didn’t spare another glance as he hoisted Shikamaru on his back.

They walked home in complete silence, namely because Shikamaru didn't know what to say. Part of him was still reeling from Neji threatening to break free from his shadow possession. That had never happened before. He wondered if it was Neji's distaste for being restrained or his desire to beat Kiba to a mangled pulp that had given him the strength. It must've hurt to resist the shadows like that, to force his muscles unnaturally against Shikamaru's jutsu. Fortunately, though, Neji didn't seem upset with him for intervening, and if he was, it didn't show which was all the same to Shikamaru. But Kiba…

“You think I went too easy on him.” Neji understood the reflective quiet between them, knew Shikamaru’s mind well enough to anticipate his thoughts.

“Yes, I do.” There was no point in denying the claim.

“Do you believe a stricter outcome would have helped?” Neji questioned.

“He assaulted you. Opposed you within an earshot of your team. That deserves punishment.” Shikamaru spoke sternly.

“Humiliation can be an effective form of discipline,” was Neji’s smooth reply.

Shikamaru sighed. “No one should ever be allowed to speak to their commander in such a way and get no recourse.”

"Kiba is hot-blooded, but he's an excellent shinobi. His qualms with me have not outright overthrown my authority. If nothing else, his outburst allowed me to tighten the reigns on everyone." Neji stated.

“You think he planned to have others back his claims of your bias?” He inquired.

“No doubt in my mind. I’m not well liked, Nara. My subordinates answer to me and respect me because I continue to prove my only goal is completing the mission. But a man like Kiba would surely inspire distrust among the ranks.” Neji voiced.

“That’s why you didn’t break his jaw the second he grabbed your hair.” Awareness hit Shikamaru like a ton of bricks. “You were trying to draw it out.”

“Precisely.”

“You needed the whole team present.”

“So, they could see I harbor no personal malice towards Kiba.” Neji continued. “He impugned my motives, attacked me and was given a second chance when at the very least he should have been demoted.”

"Sends a clear message; follow orders or suffer the consequences."

“You catch on quick, Nara.”

 

* * *

  

Upon entry of the Nara household, they found his mother in the kitchen cooking what appeared to be a feast for dozens but realistically was merely intended for three.

“Finally. It took you two long enough to get home. I’ve been seeing troops returning for the past five days! You’d better get cleaned up. I know you both need showers. I’ll have dinner ready in a bit.” Yoshino rambled.

She continued to gab on and on as Neji lowered Shikamaru, balancing the younger man against the dinner table on his good leg.

Neji cleared his throat politely. “Mrs. Nara.”

She stood frozen in place, ladle still in hand. Long, slow minutes ticked away. Shikamaru sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets wondering if she knew just by Neji’s presence that something wasn’t right.

“Ma,” he called.

She turned to take in the sight of her son for a long time. It was beyond impossible, but Shikamaru would swear he was watching his mother grow older as they looked at one another. Understanding passed through her eyes. Shikamaru was home, and Shikaku wasn't, it didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant. Her gaze settled on Neji.

“Thank you for bringing my son home.”

Neji bowed his head, but Shikamaru frowned.

“Will they recover his body?” She inquired.

"No," Shikamaru spoke bluntly. "There isn't much left. His forehead protector was retrieved."

“I see.”

"I'll be living on my own from now on," Shikamaru announced.

His sudden delivery stunned both Neji and his mother. Neither let it show.

Yoshino smiled sadly and repeated, “I see.”

Shikamaru didn't wait for her to say anything else because the more time he spent standing in the kitchen, the more comfortable Yoshino would get, despite the ANBU operative next to him. Eventually, she would say what she was really thinking or make a vain attempt at trying to stop Shikamaru. He was far too tired to handle the woman's peculiar methods in dealing with grief. He used furniture and the walls to hobble away on one leg. Neji hesitated, but eventually gave a deep bow.

“I’m very sorry for your loss.”

The house was small enough to navigate through, and he caught up to Shikamaru in the hallway in no time. He braced an arm around the younger's waist and assisted him the rest of the way to his bedroom where the jōnin began to pack. Neji stood patiently in the doorway knowing that Shikamaru probably wouldn't accept help, so there was no point in offering.

“You think I was too harsh.”

It was Shikamaru's turn to get inside Neji's head. Neji didn't know if harsh was the right word. Shikamaru had been surprisingly cold, detached, which was a quirk Neji wasn't accustomed to seeing in people besides himself. It made him wonder if there were underlying issues he didn't know about steering Shikamaru's emotions. Whatever the case may be, his mother had responded strangely too, so perhaps that was the sort of relationship they had. Neji cocked his head lightly, brown strands of silken hair falling loosely over his shoulders. 

“I don’t presume to know or judge the way you interact with your family, Shikamaru.” Their eyes met. “Heaven knows my family relations are not an example to lead by.”

Shikamaru grinned. “You and I are going to get along very well, Neji."


	11. Chapter 11

The first week living with Neji Hyūga was very much the same as being on the field in their small tent. They seldom interacted since Neji was usually away on missions and would probably remain such until Konoha made a full recovery from the war. Even then, Neji commented that with such an enormous loss of ninjas he would most likely stay tied up for years. Shikamaru had been restricted from duty as expected while his broken leg healed. One might think that for the lazy spirited Nara this was exactly what the doctor ordered— unlimited naps, ample time to cloud gaze, games of shōgi, idle television.

Shikamaru absolutely _hated_ it, and what he hated more was that he hated it. Logically, he knew he ought to be enjoying himself. Once he got back on the field, he'd be busting his ass every day for years just like Neji, but he was bored out of his mind. At least he had a pleasant place to _be_ bored. The apartment was a good size including two bedrooms and one shared bathroom. The living room, dining area, and kitchen were an open floor plan with a breakfast nook and partial wall to separate the kitchen. They also had a decent sized balcony where Shikamaru enjoyed sitting just to change things up now and then.

It was a humble, cozy, comfortable apartment. Nothing like the penthouse Chōji and Ino insisted the Hyūga would live in when he’d told them about the arrangement. Shikamaru found it strange that people still viewed Neji to be spoiled and pampered just because he carried himself proudly. Everything about his upbringing revealed him to be a family servant waiting on the main house hand and foot. Anything Neji had in life he’d earned on his own, he was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Despite Neji generously providing Shikamaru with his own bedroom, the shadow manipulator spent most of his time in the living room. It was central to the bathroom and kitchen— the less hobbling around he had to do the better.

Additionally, it gave him the opportunity to speak with Neji on occasion when they crossed paths. The Hyūga's routine stayed consistent. He took a shower minutes after walking in the door then sat in the living room to chat with Shikamaru while he combed the knots from his thick mane. Next, he would prepare something to eat and disappear into his room to start reports. The door was usually left slightly ajar which Shikamaru found oddly comforting. It was like they were still in the same room. Shikamaru did not consider himself someone dependent on the company of others, but Neji was agreeable, intelligent and unexpectedly funny so he didn't mind being near the elder.

Like now for instance.

“You know,” Neji mused, drawing Shikamaru from his concentration. “I haven’t won a single game since we’ve come home.”

"Maybe you just had beginner's luck," Shikamaru suggested as he moved a piece into place.

“ _Beginner?_ I’ve been playing for years!” Neji scoffed.

“Ah…” Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I’ve just gotten better having all this time to practice.”

Neji clicked his tongue. “Don’t be modest, Shikamaru. You’ve always been phenomenal. I got lucky because your mind was compromised.”

Shikamaru smiled but said nothing. Hyūga had a lot of nerve accusing anyone of being too modest with all the attention he’d been receiving for coming home a hero, all of which he dismissed politely by insisting it was his duty. They had more in common than Shikamaru initially anticipated. At least with those similarities came mutual respect and unspoken understanding- Neji would not continue to praise him for his shōgi skills or pressure him into playing professionally nor would Shikamaru insist the older male relish in the glory of heroics. Neji Hyūga was the opposite of troublesome.

“How’s your neck?” Shikamaru wondered aloud.

Their eyes met. “My neck?”

It dawned on Shikamaru that his pastime of analyzing Neji while he worked might seem less than ordinary, unexpected to say the least. Too late to retract now since he’d made it obvious he had noticed Neji’s neck pain somehow. He shrugged casually.

"When you're at your desk you rub it a lot. You didn't do that in the tent; you must have hurt yourself recently." Shikamaru explained.

Neji seemed genuinely surprised, but his expression was relaxed as he replied, “When we came back home the first mission I was sent on consisted of all rookies. One of them got spooked while undercover and blew her position.” He paused for a moment to evaluate the shōgi board. “It was foolish on my part, but I made a split decision that put me between her and a kunai. My neck hasn’t been the same since."

“Have you thought about having it looked at?” Shikamaru recommended.

Without missing a beat, Neji countered, "Have you considered getting your back examined?"

Shikamaru’s eyes swelled as he stared at Neji. Apparently, he was not the only one making observations. It shouldn’t have surprised him. Two geniuses were bound to arrive at the same habits eventually.

“You never lean on it. I see you holding the small of your back a lot. It shouldn’t still be hurting.” Neji’s voice was strangely soothing.

“I’m not a fan of medics.” Shikamaru defended half-heartedly.

Neji smiled. “I’ve noticed.”

Continuing to put off seeking medical guidance would probably delay Shikamaru's return to the field even longer, he knew that, and it wasn't what he wanted. He had no qualms with getting his injuries tended to. Going to the hospital was just troublesome. The way Shikamaru saw it right now, there were far too many ninjas with injuries worse than his own who needed immediate assistance. He couldn't even begin to fathom taking up a medic's time for just a backache. Alright, so it was more than _just_ a backache since even his shirt irritated his skin. Maybe Neji was onto something.

“I’ll go if you go,” he spoke at last.

The conversation was so long ago Neji had to backtrack several steps to figure out what Shikamaru meant. His gaze was held by the younger man who despite his less than serious tendencies had nothing but sincerity etched in his features. Neji was not a fool; he thoroughly understood the importance to taking care of his body and health if he wanted to continue carrying on effectively as a ninja. His distaste for visiting the hospital had been the driving force behind teaching himself a bit of medical jutsu. Unfortunately, being intelligent did not automatically mean he could pick up such a talent quickly, and since his allotted practice time was insufficient, Neji only knew the very basics.

Hospitals were too much fuss in Neji’s opinion. Besides that, each and every time he had ever been in one, no matter what the reason, some ballsy, curious medical ninja would try to take off the bandages around his forehead. The curse mark no longer embarrassed or upset Neji the way it did when he was younger, but he bore no desire to show it off or talk to strangers about it. The fact of the matter still stood; Neji did not want to go to the hospital, but he _did_ want Shikamaru to get checked. He had an inkling that Shikamaru mirrored his sentiments. A small sacrifice for the bigger picture, he supposed.

“Alright.” Neji agreed. “It’s a deal.”


	12. Chapter 12

Shikamaru limped into the kitchen slowly not surprised to find Neji already seated and getting ready to eat his breakfast. His roommate did seem astonished he was up so early in the morning, indicated by Neji’s eyes flickering to the clock and his brows pulling together.

“I’m sorry.” Neji apologized. “Did I wake you?”

“Are you kidding? I barely hear you moving around when we’re in the same room.” Shikamaru chuckled. “I’m trying to ease myself into a routine since I’ll be back to the life of a jōnin soon.”

“You know you shouldn’t be on your leg too much just yet.” Neji pointed out, staring at the appendage pointedly.

“Well, if you don’t tell the doctor I won’t either.” Shikamaru jibed.

Neji rolled his eyes. “Do you want help?”

Shikamaru paused to look at his friend for the first time.

“Neji, I’m not crippled.” He reminded the older man.

“My apologies, Shikamaru.” Lilac eyes averted respectfully.

“You don’t need to apologize.” Shikamaru wrinkled his nose. “Aren’t you hungry?”

They both looked at Neji’s plate. He had three pan seared egg whites, a small bowl of fruit and a half glass of orange juice. Shikamaru wondered if he had misjudged, maybe Neji wasn’t about to start eating and in fact was in the middle of his meal. The confusion knitted in Neji’s brows suggested otherwise.

"This is a standard shinobi meal," Neji responded.

"I see… well, I guess my stomach just isn't standard." Shikamaru said and shrugged.

Rummaging through Neji’s pantry taught him new things about the Hyūga he hadn’t noticed before or put much thought into for that matter. For starters, Neji did not take any shortcuts when he prepared his meals. Shikamaru could not find one box of instant anything in the cabinets, and there were plenty of ingredients he had never heard of before in his life. But, even from the variety he found Shikamaru deduced that Neji did not like or could not tolerate spicy foods. The ANBU member seemed to eat simple meals from what he could gather, things like rice and fish primarily.

Still, the idea that he'd moved in with someone who cooked made Shikamaru even more pleased with their arrangement. After a while, he managed to locate a box of cereal in the bottom cabinet pushed all the way to the back. He doubted Neji had bought it for himself; someone must've given it to him as a moving in gift.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Chōji.” Neji teased.

"Nah, we always had big meals back home," Shikamaru said. "Especially breakfast. My old man loved breakfast."

Anyone else would have eyed Shikamaru like he was a wounded animal or made sympathetic remarks about his loss, but Neji didn't so much as flinch with the mention of the late Nara. Shikamaru kept finding more and more reasons to appreciate his roommate. Neji did, however, stare wide-eyed while Shikamaru dumped half the box of cereal into a mixing bowl along with a cup of sugar— whoever had bought the cereal knew Hyūga well enough not to bring him anything too sweet.

“What sort of breakfast did you eat?” Neji asked curiously.

“Bacon, steak, eggs, rice, fish, miso,” Shikamaru stopped to inhale a spoonful of cereal. “Just the basics.”

Neji was astounded. “…We… will have to go shopping.”

“Don’t trouble yourself too much. It’s not like I can cook anyway.” Shikamaru mentioned casually.

He meant to take another spoonful of his breakfast but paused mid-bite with his mouth open when he caught Neji's intense stare. It still chilled him how easily the man could halt him with a single look.

“Shikamaru Nara,” Neji began slowly, his eyes narrowed. “Are you telling me that you can’t cook yourself a basic meal?”

Shikamaru shifted in his seat and gave the question a considerate hum. “Does instant ramen count?”

“ _No_.” Neji dispirited.

“Ah, alright.” Shikamaru flashed a pleasant grin, shoved another helping of cereal in his mouth and shook his head. “Then nope.”

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose and prayed for patience. “We will work on that.”


	13. Chapter 13

The problem with spending so much time lounging around on Neji’s couch was that after a while Shikamaru began to notice things about his roommate he would care not to. The way Neji's hair moved when he walked, for example, or the definition in his shoulders and a strong back. The subtle, supple slope of his buttocks, particularly accentuated in the tight ANBU pants. Shikamaru Nara was not just some common pervert who took pleasure ogling at people; it wasn't like he had anything better to do than analyze. And no, he definitely was _not_ attracted to Neji in any way, the man had undressed in front of him dozens of times when they shared a tent, and it had never affected Shikamaru. He decided maybe his seat on the couch put Neji directly in his view far too often and he could end this little game of examining by sitting elsewhere.

When Neji questioned him about the sudden shift from his usual space, he said it was for his posture— nonsense because he always slouched, but the brunette accepted the answer all the same. From his new seat, Shikamaru saw directly into Neji's room. He watched Hyūga's solemn face bowed over stacks of paperwork at his desk. That's when he saw a soft glow in those strange silver orbs he'd never noticed before. He became familiar with the way Neji's upper lip twitched and lightly furrowed brows wrinkled porcelain skin when he was immensely stressed.

Shikamaru chalked it up to being bored. As a ninja, it was his _duty_ to notice every little detail about every situation he encountered because it may come in handy later. With his abnormally calculating brain, Shikamaru had always been especially good in that region. Naturally, since he couldn't work in the field his mind was making up for that fact by trying to cope with supplemental tasks; in this case, Neji. He glanced up from the book he was reading and peered into Neji's room through the cracked door just as the ANBU began gnawing his lip. Fascinated, Shikamaru could not bring himself to look away even as Hyūga's mouth turned red, raw from abuse.

After that Shikamaru decided it was time to stop being so lazy and push his recovery along.

 

* * *

 

Neji entered the kitchen half asleep and stopped dead in his tracks. The kitchen was a complete disaster, various ingredients stuck to the counters, the tabletop, and the fridge. A slight fog hung in the air suggesting something must have burned at some point. He looked at Shikamaru who stood in front of the stove oblivious or maybe just ignoring the chaos around him. His ponytail had become disarrayed, the apron protecting his clothes had food spatters all over. Neji tipped his head at the bizarrely domestic sight.

Shikamaru finally noticed Neji's presence and cast an apologetic gaze over his shoulder. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Yes,” Neji answered honestly. “Which I’m grateful for, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“I was under the impression you had an internal alarm clock.” Shikamaru quipped.

“Yes, me too.” Neji agreed bitterly.

He flopped in a seat and waited patiently for the man to explain both the mess and why he was up so early. Neji knew the shadow user would resume his jōnin activities in just two days, but he fully expected Shikamaru to capitalize on getting as much rest as he possibly could. The cast had finally been removed from his leg, and for the most part, the spiky-haired ninja could navigate on his own without much trouble, though couldn't stand for extended periods of time and bending in certain ways did cause mild irritation. Still, Neji was relieved to see his roommate had made nearly a complete recovery. Wordlessly and without offering any clarity, Shikamaru set a plate down on the table directly in front of Neji then returned to the stove cursing softly under his breath when a pop of grease nicked his hand.

Neji frowned, opened his mouth, closed it and then tried again. “You... made me breakfast?”

"I was cooking mine anyway. Why not?" Shikamaru said directly.

No one had ever made Neji breakfast. Saying that Shikamaru had _made_ his food may have been a bit of an overstatement, it was just eggs and toast after all. Still, Neji had always been responsible for feeding himself. Even when his father was alive, Hizashi made sure the minute his son was old enough to walk he could retrieve food on his own when hungry. After Hizashi’s passing there was a target on Neji's back. The branch house members specifically dedicated to preparing meals for both houses made a point of keeping food from Neji just because they believed Hiashi favored him. It was a vicious lie. He didn't trust anyone in the Hyūga compound not to poison him anyway; he was better off cooking for himself. 

“Ah, shit.” Shikamaru’s gruff voice interrupted. “It looks like I left a bit yolk in your eggs. I’ll make new ones.”

When he reached for the plate, Neji seized his wrist with surprising speed and force. They stayed like that, staring at one another with only the sound of bacon sizzling and grease popping. Neji eased his grip and smiled, small but genuine and candidly touched.

“I like yolk.”


	14. Chapter 14

An ear-splitting crash had Shikamaru bolting upright in bed and stumbling out of his bedroom thinking how troublesome it would be if he had to fight off a robber in the middle of the night. To his surprise and relief, he found Neji in the bathroom sifting through various medical kits. He inspected the ANBU’s battered form rapidly, noticed Neji’s shattered wrist and scarred palm then flicked his eyes to the tin box on the floor.

“I’m sorry.” Neji scowled, bending to retrieve the medical kit.

Shikamaru was faster, swiping it out of Neji’s reach in one fluid motion. Once again, he looked Neji over and realized his uniform had taken quite a beating, even more so than usual.

Shikamaru shrugged off the apology. “How did you plan on reaching this?”

He traced his fingers over Neji’s shoulder blade, across torn fabric saturated in blood. Hyūga winced, but he didn’t dare say a word. Both of them knew he was inclined to do some half-assed job at stitching himself together which would end up infected later and Neji would pretend he didn't know how it happened. Shikamaru gestured to the living room couch hoping for once the long-haired ninja would oblige without needing to be coaxed. Neji did so wordlessly.

Patching one another up in the middle of the night had become a routine for them now. Neji still refused to visit a medical unit, and Shikamaru figured that was his right, he never pushed the issue. He didn't bother going most of the time himself, although he rarely came back as torn up. Still, Neji always offered to stitch his wounds, and Shikamaru returned to favor. Neji peeled away his vest before sitting on the couch sideways; legs tucked neatly beneath himself. Shikamaru grabbed sheers to cut straight down the center of Neji's black matted turtleneck— there was no salvaging the garment since it was so shredded already.

Carefully, Shikamaru sifted his hands through the heart of Neji's inky locks and created a divide, pushing a pile of silken hair over either shoulder, so he had clear access to Hyūga's back. The shadow manipulator cleaned Neji with a sponge and warm soapy water as gently as he could, although some patches of blood had hardened and required a bit of force. Neji never complained. He didn't even flinch when Shikamaru dabbed alcohol over the open wounds to disinfect them. Shikamaru sat directly behind Neji, mirroring the elder's position on his knees, his brows fixed together in deep concentration while he wriggled thread and needle into the severed skin.

It was a shock that Neji didn't have more scars considering his poor stitch jobs. Most of the lines had disappeared or faded to an off-white color one would only notice if they were looking or knew where they were. Shikamaru knew every single one. What sort of trouble did Neji get into with ANBU? This was how the victors returned home? Did Sasuke, Neji's ANBU partner, have similar wounds? Perhaps Shikamaru’s delay in the ANBU process after returning from the war was an opportunity in disguise to determine if he really wanted to be part of the task force. His muscles ached often enough as it was.

“Is it worth it?” Shikamaru pondered aloud more for himself than Neji.

Neji picked up his train of thought without hesitation. “I have to tell myself the answer to that is yes, otherwise what’s the point, right?”

"The things you must have seen," Shikamaru whispered, his index finger tracing along the uneven lump of freshly threaded skin.

He pretended not to notice Neji breaking out in goose bumps.

“Come now, Shikamaru. We’ve all seen travesty.” Neji reminded.

“Not like ANBU.”

They both knew it was true. Shikamaru continued his silent exploration of Neji’s backside since the Hyūga hadn’t moved yet or protested his touch. His rough fingers mapped out old wounds tenderly, smoothing the skin of each individual line several times. He feigned ignorance when bumps rose across his arms and distracted himself by stitching another torn patch of skin.

“Do you regret it?”

A tough question, one that should have had an automatic response, but Neji felt like he could be candid with Shikamaru. That was probably the very reason he’d asked the question in the first place, knowing that Hyūga would not fill his ear with nonsense about how gratifying it was to serve the village above all else.

“Sometimes.” Neji closed his eyes. “I think I could feel better about it if we weren’t so similar to the Akatsuki.”

Shikamaru bulked. “You’re not a criminal, Neji.”

“No?” Neji sucked in a breath. “We blindly follow orders without asking questions, carry out missions regardless of who the target is. Some get so caught up in the corruption their hand is forced to betray their own people. Look at Itachi Uchiha.”

Neji was right, and Shikamaru knew it, he would be lying to say he had never looked at things that way before. But for his sanity and to give purpose to why Shikamaru did the things he did, he refused to entertain such thoughts. They wore disguises, used code names, operated on a need-to-know basis. One could only hope the intentions were always for the greater good. Maybe that wasn't enough.

“The things we are asked to do... sometimes it tears me apart.” Neji divulged.

They had been living together for just shy of four months now, and Shikamaru would say without a doubt they were close, close enough to be considered friends and to confide private thoughts to each other. Something both had done on numerous occasions. Yet, this particular confession from Neji felt extremely raw and vulnerable to the shadow wielder. So much so that he didn't know what to say. That was often the case when talking to other people. It had never been the case with Hyūga. The long-haired male brought out an ease in him that Shikamaru couldn't explain.

His resolve was settled right then that when the time came he would join the ANBU task force if for no other reason than to understand what Neji experienced, to see with his own eyes that which his friend couldn’t speak about. Knowing that he could shoulder at least some of the burden from the Byakugan user would make it worth his while. Because of the oath Neji had taken when joining ANBU he could never be specific in the details surrounding his missions. If he broke regulations and anyone found out it was punishable by death. More than once, Shikamaru saw a glint in those opalescent eyes that told him Neji thought about crossing the line, thought about spilling everything to the spiky-haired ninja.

Shikamaru’s bored tone prevailed as he spoke, but the sentiment was just as profound. “Then it’s a good thing you have me to put you back together.”

Neji folded his lips fighting a smile. He turned his face so Shikamaru couldn’t see, though the younger knew him well enough to guess what Neji’s reaction was. In his private moment, unexpected warmth filled the Hyūga at such a simple, cheesy phrase. He could do nothing more than smile.


	15. Chapter 15

Neji knew something was amiss as soon as he set foot in the apartment he shared with Shikamaru. Unease washed over him until he spotted his roommate sitting on the balcony— on the ground as opposed to a chair— but instead of relief, he was clutched by inexplicable empathy. Even from where he stood it was abundantly clear to the brunette that his friend was crying, thinking about his father no doubt. As Neji began his daily routine of stripping away his ANBU armor and mask he thought about what he should say, what words of comfort he could possibly offer to Shikamaru.

Nara hadn't shown any outward emotions regarding his father's passing except for a brief mention of the man now and again when they played shōgi if Neji made a move that reminded him of his father. And it wasn't like Neji thought of Shikamaru as a stone wall, he'd been waiting for that facade to crack for months now. Everyone went through grief differently. Losing his father had torn Neji completely to shreds, but the circumstances were very different and he had only been a child. Shikamaru understood that war meant a potential loss, every shinobi knew that, and yet somehow whenever it happened most ninjas were not prepared to handle grief healthily.

Many of the village's prodigies came from tragic backgrounds, leaving them jaded as children. Some of them grew up into different people, others never shook betrayal or death or abuse and wandered down a path no one could bring them back from. Neji considered the mental health of those he knew personally and those he observed from afar. Perhaps, Konoha would do well to invest resources into coping solutions for shinobi, especially after a war. Neji hadn't lost anyone who directly impacted his life, but he still woke up in cold sweats every other night thinking he was bathed in the blood of his comrades.

He approached the sliding glass door which had been left open and stared at Shikamaru silently waiting to be acknowledged, but it seemed his friend had not even noticed his presence. Maybe that was for the better. It gave Neji the opportunity to think his next course of action through before Shikamaru could pull on the tough guy act and pretend nothing was wrong. Neji thought about all the words he received after his father passed. None of it made him feel any better. There was one thing he wished someone had done for him.

Shikamaru had finally spotted the older man just as the screen door opened and frantically drug his forearm across his cheeks to wipe away his tears. Neji didn't let him continue. He sat behind Shikamaru on the ground ignoring the way his muscles protested, wrapped his arms tight around his friend and held him as close as possible. Shikamaru gave in, his shoulders shaking as he cried without a sound.

“I miss my old man.”

That's all Shikamaru says and the only words that ever come between them. Neji doesn't say a thing, he just listens. Listens to Shikamaru wheezing, to his trembling breaths, the sniffle of his nose, the occasional _troublesome_ hiccuped quietly. Neji perches his chin on Shikamaru's shoulder after a while when the quaking sobs slow to mere trickles down Nara's cheek. Shikamaru doesn't know why he feels better or how to say thank you, but he turns his face, so their foreheads press together. 

He thinks Neji understands what he wants to say.


	16. Chapter 16

Shikamaru didn't mean to stare, and even though he had caught himself doing it half a dozen times and looked away, once again he found his eyes drawn to the green mark on Neji's forehead. The older male stopped wearing his bandages around the apartment almost a week ago, but since their schedules had been so conflicting lately Shikamaru never really had the opportunity to pay much attention. Pride swelled in his chest knowing that Neji Hyūga felt comfortable enough in his presence not to cover up the curse mark. Although if he didn't stop _staring,_ he might give Neji the wrong impression. Shikamaru scowled to himself and lunged forward to grab a book off the coffee table, pretending it was more interesting than the Hyūga mark.

“Is something wrong?” Neji asked.

"Lost my placeholder in this book again," Shikamaru grumbled.

Neji wanted to point out that Shikamaru wasn't holding a _book_ , he had a dictionary, but he figured there must have been a good reason why his friend avoided the question, and he saw no real reason to press the matter further. With a shrug, Neji resumed bounding his hair to the base of his neck then returned to his room and sought out the remainder of his gear.

“How long will you be gone?” Shikamaru called only half interested.

"Just one week," Neji answered. "Sasuke has ties to the village we're visiting so that should speed things along."

Uchiha. Shikamaru hummed as he considered the once rogue ninja. Now that he thought about it, Sasuke was with Neji most of the time when his roommate wasn’t home. There had even been a few days recently where Sasuke came back to the apartment or met Neji at the front door instead of the gates. Shikamaru didn’t have any particular feelings one way or the other towards Uchiha, although the raven's sudden obsession with birds he could do without. From what he could tell, Sasuke was not even a shell of his former self; though Shikamaru never bothered spending any time with the man to find out. 

The details of Sasuke's return to Konoha a few years back were probably meant to be confidential, but then again someone should've thought that through before letting a certain blonde loudmouth in the know. Shikamaru had to piece together scrambled bits of what Naruto had said to get a story that made sense, but the gist was clear enough. Sasuke had killed Orochimaru and his brother. Kabuto brought Itachi back from the dead expecting to be able to control him but failed. Together the Uchiha brothers killed him and soon after Sasuke came back home.

What transpired in the middle or between the brothers Shikamaru did not know, but he knew Sasuke no longer spoke ill of Itachi and seemed to regard him as someone important. News of Itachi’s deal with ANBU and the Hokage spread like wildfire, Shikamaru assumed this was the reason Sasuke had changed his mind. Upon his return, the village was quick to forgive Sasuke for his crimes, but the man did not want any handouts and insisted on earning his way up the ranks. Shikamaru respected him for that at least.

“You two sure do spend a lot of time together.” He voiced aloud.

Neji reentered the living room; eyebrow arched and a grin on his lips. "Oh? Are you jealous?"

Shikamaru knew that he was teasing, but part of him wanted to say _yes_ just for Neji’s reaction.

“Just an observation.” He assured with a shrug.

“He’s my partner.” Neji reminded.

Shikamaru gave a nod. “Right, ANBU and such.”

“Have you ever thought about joining ANBU?” Neji questioned.

"I was about to join before the war. My injuries set me back a few ranks." Shikamaru gave an indifferent shrug. "By the time I'm eligible again, I'll probably be too lazy to do it."

He had lied through his teeth. Shikamaru already decided he would do whatever it took to quicken the process of joining ANBU for the sole purpose of supporting Neji, despite knowing how much work would be required of him and how troublesome the task was.

“Even if it’s something you want?” Neji pressed.

Shikamaru raised his index finger and wagged it in Neji’s direction. “You underestimate the power of lazy.”

 

* * *

 

 "You wanted to see me, Lord Hokage?”

Tsunade peered over her laced fingers at the young ANBU knelt before her, secretly pleased to have Neji Hyūga in her presence merely because of how well-mannered and even-tempered he was. She could think of quite a few ninjas who would do well to learn by his example.

"I'm sorry this is the first chance we've had to meet since you came home," Tsunade spoke.

“No apology necessary. Everyone has been very busy.” Neji said.

“Even so... what you did for your comrades, Hyūga deserves praise. We all give our gratitude to you. While our funds are limited, I do believe a celebration is in order. Not only to celebrate winning the war but in recognition of our hero." Tsunade cracked a grin. "The village could do with a pick-me-up, wouldn't you say?"

Neji braced himself on his knees and bowed further, long strips of brown hair falling over his shoulders to curtain his body. Tsunade smiled in spite of the humble ninja before her, genuinely charmed by how modest the man behaved.

"With all due respect, Hokage, please do not waste the village's resources on me. So many soldiers weren't fortunate enough to come home. It doesn't feel right to celebrate unless it's for those who fought so valiantly, but lost their lives." Neji declined politely.

“Kakashi and Gai mentioned you might resist me on this. You didn’t disappoint.” Tsunade stated, her eyes narrowed.

“I beg your apologies.” He replied. “My actions were purely that of a leaf shinobi. No different from anyone else.”

Tsunade couldn’t tell where Neji honestly stood on the matter. On the one hand, it was plausible someone who’d been raised in the branch house of the Hyūga clan would be naïve to their achievements. Neji was not like the other members, though, he was without a doubt the strongest Hyūga and easily ranked in the top ten in Konoha’s forces. He was also very aware of his abilities. The modesty felt too sincere to be an act.

“Stand up, Hyūga.” She ordered.

He hesitated but did as he was told without question; however, he did not meet her gaze. Always respectful no matter how uncomfortable he may be. Tsunade saw great things for Neji's future. He would be one of the select few to make a difference in Konoha for the upcoming generations. She was grateful to be alive to see it.

“I’m sure you know I am one of the people you pulled from the fray.” Tsunade’s voice was softer, kinder now.

Neji nodded. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

“Then you must also know that I am far beyond grateful to you for all that you have done.”

Tsunade stood from her desk, scraping the chair loudly and rounded to where Neji stood. Their eyes met briefly before he broke the gaze and Tsunade bowed on the floor. Neji jerked back.

“Lord Hokage, please get up.” Neji insisted, crouching beside her. “You don’t need to do that. Please.”

"You saved my life, Hyūga," Tsunade said as she sat on her knees. "I am in your debt. If there is ever anything you require all you need to do is say the word."

Red with embarrassment, Neji only nodded and cast his eyes away. If there was one thing, he could not stand more than people praising him it was people delivering a level of respect he certainly did not deserve. It made him more than just uncomfortable; his stomach was in knots. Neji— despite what people thought he might be thinking— believed he had served Konoha the way he was supposed to as a member of ANBU, a ninja, and a Hyūga. Nothing more and nothing less. He was owed nothing in return. But there was one thing he wanted.

Finally, he met her gaze and this time didn't back down when he asked, “Anything?”


	17. Chapter 17

Shikamaru stood in the porch doorway half watching Neji cook in the kitchen and half watching people outside. It was unusually busy, presumably because it was the first decent weather they’d had in months. Merriment wasn’t typically Shikamaru’s cup of tea, but seeing people out and about after they’d been cooped up in the house for such a long time was oddly satisfying. He settled his dark chocolate eyes on Neji, waited for the man to notice him because he knew for a fact Hyūga was perceptive enough to know when he was being watched. But the man just continued chopping away at a pile of vegetables.

"Tsunade contacted me this morning," Shikamaru spoke deciding he would break the ice if he had to.

“Oh?” Neji didn’t even look up. “Anything interesting?”

“Very interesting you might say. Somehow, out of the blue, my file was passed along to her for ANBU consideration.” Shikamaru folded his arms over his chest.

Neji merely hummed, confirming what Shikamaru already knew. Well, he didn’t know the specifics of _how_ Neji did it just yet, but he planned on finding out. There was no reason his file should be anywhere near the ANBU pile with his mission rank so low. Only someone on the inside could pull a job like that, and only one ninja had enough gull to try and succeed.

"Neji," Shikamaru called.

Moonstone orbs locked with his and as per usual Shikamaru found that he couldn’t breathe or respond for several seconds until the spell was broken. It almost felt like _he_ was the one being interrogated when Neji looked at him with such a piercing gaze. He didn’t know if he could ever get used to those eyes.

“Did you have something to do with it?” He asked calmly.

“Your talent is what will determine whether or not you are fit for ANBU.” Neji redirected so he wouldn’t have to lie. “No one has any influence on that.”

Shikamaru frowned a little. “But someone _did_ have an influence on moving my file up. Why?”

He didn't want any more favors from Neji when he couldn't pay back the debt he had already acquired. Hyūga'd saved his life and given him a place to live, effectively saving his life a second time by keeping him out of Yoshino's clutches. His reason for wanting to pursue ANBU seriously in the first place _was_ Neji; it almost defeated the altruistic nature of the gesture if Neji helped him to achieve it. 

Shikamaru didn’t expect to receive a straightforward answer from his roommate until Neji was ready to discuss the matter. He clicked his tongue, rolled his eyes and resumed people watching. His sights fell upon a familiar figure near the village entrance sitting by a tree with at least a dozen crows surrounding him. Sasuke Uchiha. The man looked about as expressionless as Neji usually tended to be, outside of their apartment of course, but still completely content feeding his birds.

“I have to ask,” Shikamaru said. “What is that guy’s obsession with birds?”

Neji didn’t need a name to know who he meant.

He smiled solemnly and gently replied, “Itachi.”

Shikamaru felt a little bad about thinking of Sasuke as the crazy birdman in his head. He didn’t know Uchiha that well still— and yes, Chōji and Ino _had_ already expressed how odd it was he didn't get to know a close friend of Neji's when the Hyūga had met all Shikamaru's friends— but he'd heard the full truth about Itachi like everyone else in Konoha. Even though Sasuke had dedicated his entire life to killing his brother, betrayed his home and became a rogue for that sole purpose he had somehow reverted into an adoring younger brother almost instantly. 

The shadow wielder wondered if Sasuke had ever really hated Itachi or if he had only felt like he was _supposed_ to. Sasuke was on that path of hatred because Itachi guided him there, at times forced him through mental torture, but it seemed like his admiration never disappeared. In the beginning, when Shikamaru'd met Sasuke, he spoke highly of his brother even when calling him a traitor and a disgrace he praised his brother's brilliance and skill. Itachi liked crows, used them as part of his clone jutsu. Perhaps they helped Sasuke feel close to his deceased brother. Neji cursed quietly and broke Shikamaru's attention.

"The pan has to be hotter, or the oil will separate," Shikamaru advised absentmindedly.

He realized his mistake the second the words left his mouth, but it was too late to amend them now.

“What did you just say?” Neji asked, a hand on either hip and both brows threatening to disappear in his hairline.

“Uh... tch, how troublesome," Shikamaru grumbled.

“So you _do_ know how to cook.” Neji folded his arms.

“Ok, alright. Yes, I know how. But I’m just too lazy to be bothered, ok?” Shikamaru confessed.

He knew Neji was about to chew him out, and rightfully so, then insist he bring his lazy ass in the kitchen and get to work.

Neji smiled lightly and returned his gaze to the pan. “Lucky for you, I hate doing the dishes. Guess you’ll have to keep washing them for me.”

Shikamaru stared bluntly at Neji not because his roommate was gracious enough to let him off the hook, but he had just noticed for the first time how remarkably attractive his friend was when he smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

“Another mission already?” Shikamaru raised a brow.

"Word of the wise, Shikamaru," Neji started as he pulled on his vest. "Resist the urge to overachieve when you begin ANBU."

Shikamaru snorted. “I assure you that will be the easiest advice I have ever been asked to follow.”

“I’m serious. The better you are, the more you get used. It’ll wear you down.” Neji nearly sighed.

The spiky-haired ninja recognized his friend's words of admission for more than just friendly advice, but also Neji's way of saying he didn't know how much more he could take. And honestly, it didn't surprise Shikamaru because the Hyūga went on way more missions than anyone else he knew. Even Neji's partner didn't always accompany him. Shikamaru wasn't as strong as Neji physically, but he was more intelligent, and it did make him worry the ANBU would find far more use for him than he cared to for. He had been summoned the Tsunade’s office yesterday morning to receive the good news, he had passed the test with flying colors and would be officiated into ANBU the following week.

Joining ANBU was exactly what Shikamaru wanted, he had no regrets about his decision, he only wished he could do more to help Neji and feared his recruitment would have the opposite effect. Initially, he knew the only way to understand what Neji was going through without the older man breaking protocol would be to become an active member of ANBU. He expected to climb the ranks without trouble if he put his mind to it and in a matter of weeks would be operating at a level close to the Hyūga so he could take up some of the missions waiting for his roommate.

Now, he thought perhaps he'd made a mistake and failed to calculate how run down ANBU would leave him. Some days, Neji looked like he might collapse on the spot and others Shikamaru worried it would be the last time they saw each other because the brunette returned with more and more battle scars. If Shikamaru put himself in the same position, same condition, could he really be useful in his quest to assist Neji? He supposed he would find a way around it. After all, ANBU probably intended to rely on him as a tactician more than anything else, leaving the grunt work to more capable comrades. Fine by him. His brain never stopped working so he might as well put it to good use. If he could reserve his physical interactions for as-need basis, then he'd pull this off without fault.

Shikamaru had an inkling that Neji knew he was the reason behind Nara’s decision to join ANBU, but the older man would never ask him about it, that’s not the way their relationship worked. Just like Shikamaru was aware Neji pulled strings to have him tested for ANBU so soon. He had asked his friend about it once and didn’t plan on doing so again. Some things were better left unsaid to keep from being complicated or troublesome. Shikamaru gave a nod to Neji before the man departed then stood at the balcony, leaning over the rail while he waited to see the long-haired ANBU emerge from their building.

It didn’t surprise him to spot Sasuke Uchiha waiting against a lamppost across the street, head down to avoid attention and arms tight over his chest as a final _fuck off_ in case the message wasn’t already clear. Now that Shikamaru thought about it, they were together often, Sasuke and Neji. He had joked about it once or twice before knowing that they were ANBU partners, one of the few reoccurring teams since it could be dangerous to send the same pair out repeatedly. Thinking back on when he had first woken in the tent on the battlefield, though, Sasuke was there then, too.

Neji joined the younger man, tucking loose strands of dark brown hair behind his ear while Sasuke opened a scroll, probably the assignment details and displayed it to Hyūga. The longer Shikamaru looked at them, the deeper his frown grew. They looked good together. _Too_ good. Both men were attractive in their own right, both exuding masculine prowess and handsome features Shikamaru didn’t dare linger on. Together though, they were the kind of attractive that could make you do a double take.

His brows locked deeper, not entirely sure why the thought had ever crossed his mind. Perhaps there was a reason his roommate and Uchiha were joined at the hip. The same reason they looked good together. Shikamaru chuckled in spite of himself and dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. Neji spent all his free time in the apartment, sometimes with Shikamaru playing shōgi or talking and other times he was bent over endless paperwork. Sasuke apparently had an intimate relationship with his flock of crows anyway. Not that Shikamaru cared one way or the other, he reminded himself. Or perhaps he was trying to convince himself.


	19. Chapter 19

Shikamaru had found the perfect spot for cloud gazing on his way home from his very first ANBU mission, not too far away from the apartment he shared with Neji, but it put plenty of distance between himself and the hustle and bustle of Konoha. With the bulk of the village repairs completed more people were outside again, people like Naruto Uzumaki boisterously ordering ramen or Kiba Inuzuka walking his herd of barking dogs. Shikamaru much preferred the quiet life. He sat at the edge of a pond, his pant cuffs rolled up with his legs dangling in the water, and his head tipped back, though his eyes weren't open.

ANBU had been every bit as daunting as Neji warned him. The worst part was knowing he’d been given what was considered a _light_ mission since it was his first, knowing that it would get harder from this point forward. Fortunately, Shikamaru hadn’t been sent to kill anyone. He had enough blood on his hands already. Though he knew that it came with the territory, that was the bigger picture, right? Being on ANBU meant doing what jōnin weren’t expected to, meant taking a scroll with someone’s name on it and murdering them in cold blood without ever sparing a second thought.

Being detached was supposed to help. Shikamaru hoped Neji wouldn’t be offended if he asked for assistance concealing his feelings. He meant no harm, but he couldn’t think of anyone else in the village better at wearing a mask no matter the situation. Neji kept his guard up at all times unless the two of them were alone together in the private comfort of their apartment, but even then, sometimes Shikamaru had to squint to understand Hyūga's feelings. Many of his friends and comrades from the same year were terrible at hiding their true selves, which was probably the reason most would never make it beyond jōnin level. If Shikamaru intended to be a successful part of ANBU he was going to need to learn how to separate the mission from home for the sake of his sanity.

“You found my thinking spot.”

He turned his head enough to see Neji standing beside him and wondered why he still had so much difficulty detecting the man’s presence until it was too late. Maybe he would also have to ask Neji to show him ways to conceal his chakra better as well. Shikamaru patted the space beside him which Neji accepted graciously, sitting with his legs crossed and his back straight.

"It's ideal for cloud watching," Shikamaru said.

“Except you weren’t watching the clouds.” Neji had a smile in his voice.

Just how long had Neji been standing there before approaching?

"No, not today," Shikamaru admitted.

"I heard great things about you. Everyone is very impressed with how you performed on your first mission." Neji revealed. "You even managed to get your report turned in the same day. That's record speed for you, you know."

Shikamaru snorted into a loud laugh even though the statement hadn't been particularly funny. He found himself amused knowing that Neji went to see how the mission went or at the very least someone sought the man out to tell him.

"I don't know what I expected," Shikamaru spoke openly, eyes narrowed and looked anywhere but at Neji. "You make it look so easy."

“It’s not easy. I don’t pretend it is, not with you.” Neji elbowed the younger man.

“I know, I just…” Shikamaru sighed instead.

Troublesome. Neither male spoke, Shikamaru didn’t know how to say what he meant, but Neji seemed to understand anyway. Neji _always_ understood. Surveillance and tracking should have been an easy enough task for Shikamaru, one that required very little thinking beyond the scope of the mission. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the words Neji had said to him some time ago. Shikamaru found himself questioning the purpose of the mission. Who was the information for? What would they do with it? Who were the people they would later be assigned assassinate?

Questions he knew better than to ask or to even be thinking, questions that wouldn’t have dared to cross his mind before. He had changed, though. Neji changed him. Shikamaru found that he did not wish to be the kind of ninja who never thought about his moral obligations or considered that though his Hokage had the village’s best interest at heart, he may at times be given operations that threatened peace with neighboring lands or ruined the lives of innocent people. ANBU would not be a lifelong career for Shikamaru; it couldn't be. Which meant he was going to have to stop being so lazy and give thought to his future. What a drag.

“What do you want to do with your life?” Shikamaru asked abruptly.

Neji looked directly at Shikamaru, raising a low brow. "That's a bit sudden even for you."

"It can't be ANBU. They're tearing you apart as it is, and you've already expressed to me more than once that your personal guidelines don't align with what's expected of you." Shikamaru continued. "If you stay with them, it'll corrupt the person you are."

“You don’t think I’m corrupted already? Most assume ANBU must be at least a little messed up. Why else would anyone put themselves through it?” Neji posed.

Shikamaru couldn’t keep himself from frowning. Suddenly, in his mind at least, he was twelve years old again listening to the Hyūga ramble about destiny, predetermined fate and how he was damaged goods. Did Neji still think of himself that way? How could he after all the brunette had done to earn his rank? After coming back from the war, a hero.

“You are not corrupted.” Shikamaru kept his tone level despite the inexplicable rage bubbling in the pit of his stomach. “You are not messed up. You joined ANBU to make a difference, that has to count for something, Neji.”

“That’s not why I joined ANBU.” Neji deflated.

“Then why?” Shikamaru questioned.

He felt like pushing limits today. Generally, he did not pry at Neji for answers of any sort because it was too much work and he didn't care about the answers. At least he hadn't before. Shikamaru didn't know what was different now or why, but he _did_ want to understand why Neji'd joined ANBU. A flood of questions threatened to tumble from his lips, and he kept them at bay, for the time being, well aware that he was abandoning his careless nature by engaging this sort of conversation.

"To escape." Neji spoke simply, then added, "ANBU don't spend very much time at home. The only authorities that Hyūgas have no influence over are that of the Hokage and ANBU; I knew they couldn't stop me."

“What were you escaping from?” Shikamaru inquired.

Neji spared a look that said he might not answer, but he reigned in the defiant part of himself and said, “My uncle. He was beginning to crack under the pressure from the Hyūga elders and slipped back into his old ways. I promised myself I would never go through those things again if I could help it.”

Shikamaru found that he could not breathe, his brain sent all the right signals, but his lungs refused to move except to tighten further around the breath still lodged in his throat. His chest felt heavy like someone was sitting on him, but the only thing crushing Shikamaru at that moment was the realization that he _needed_ to know more about Neji Hyūga. His mouth went dry, the inquiries on the tip of his tongue dying before he could voice them.

"Joining ANBU would bring me away from the compound often enough so I could gather my thoughts. It required a meeting between my uncle and ANBU squad leader, but my moving out was eventually approved without much difficulty. It was the only way to leave. Though I'm sure, there are plenty of Hyūga spies on the task force who make daily reports back home." Neji forced a bitter smile. "I'll never break ties completely."

“That’s why you push yourself so hard.” Shikamaru mentally chastised his lack of response, berating his stupidity as he welcomed himself back to the conversation. “You feel like you joined ANBU for the wrong reasons.”

"I joined ANBU selfishly because I didn't know where else to go," Neji said.

“But you serve the people of Konoha better than those who claim to have joined to protect the village. You put your life on the line when no one else was willing to.” Shikamaru reminded him.

Neji hummed but did not speak. Shikamaru felt he could understand the long-haired ninja better now knowing the real reason behind joining ANBU. It explained how Neji ended up taking on so many missions, in the beginning, the physical and mental toll of whatever ANBU put him through paled in comparison to the torture to Hyūga clan dealt. It also explained why Neji never felt like he was good enough, always pushed harder and volunteered to do more when no one was willing to step up to the plate. In his own way, Neji wanted to prove he was useful for more than just a tool to the Hyūgas' main house. Shikamaru hated how his friend could see so much yet be so blind.

“Does it hurt?”

The shadow wielder followed Neji’s eyes to his feet in the pond where a few koi fish were nipping at his toes, a lazy smirk drawing from his lips. Shikamaru shook his head, but Neji didn’t seem convinced when he wrinkled his nose.

“Come on,” Shikamaru encouraged. “Try it with me.”

Neji removed his shoes, but still hesitated to dip his feet in the pond. Instead, he scrunched and unscrunched his toes in a silent debate, watching the colorful fish swimming around Shikamaru's feet. With a heavy, labored sigh he finally leaned forward to ball up his pant legs and very carefully extended his feet. Neji withdrew them almost as soon as he'd touched the water, flashing Shikamaru an accusing stare.

“That _tickles_!” he spewed venomously.

Shikamaru burst out into a fit of laughter which only grew louder when Neji smacked his shoulder. The Byakugan user tried again, a death grip on the very shoulder he'd just assaulted moments ago, but Shikamaru didn't mind. Gradually, his hand relaxed until Neji felt comfortable enough to release his friend, lilac eyes glaring at the fish when they swarmed his feet. Try as he might, Neji couldn't fight the soft laughter from bellowing up each time they nibbled his toes. It dawned on Shikamaru how different Neji was around him, how relaxed and comfortable in his own skin the man seemed to be. He couldn’t remember a time where Neji laughed in the open, the most reactive he’d ever seen the Hyūga was a dull smirk.

“Neji!”

The call of Hyūga's name in the distance was all it took for the private moment to shatter, Neji's stoic wall rising just as high as ever before Tenten came bounding over. Shikamaru didn’t appreciate the disapproving glare of confusion she shot them, but he didn’t draw attention to it either.

"Oh, you're both here." She said lamely. "Well, I guess that makes this easy since I've found you both. Tsunade is requesting your presence."

Neji and Shikamaru looked at one another briefly. Nara suspected he wasn’t the only one thinking _troublesome_ as they got to their feet.


	20. Chapter 20

Tsunade's orders pairing Shikamaru Nara and Neji Hyūga together for an ANBU mission made perfect sense, a rookie with an expert could only lead to success. Their balanced personalities had always made working together very painless whenever Neji commanded a team of jōnin, so Shikamaru saw no reason for things to be different now. Undercover operations were not his favorite; it often forced him to interact with civilians— too troublesome. Unfortunately, because his mind put together steps and outcomes through observing people's behaviors or habits, it made him very good at these types of missions. At least he had just started working the field as an ANBU member. Tsunade made it very clear that Shikamaru's primary responsibility would be observation and backup only if needed, Neji took the brunt of the responsibilities.

That suited Shikamaru entirely. Neji was collecting intel through devious methods. He would have to trick an extremely dangerous man into giving up the location of evidently invaluable scrolls. They were kept in the dark about what the scrolls contained, as per usual. Neji, as Shikamaru later found out, was excellent in the art of persuasion. It helped that he was easy on the eyes. Amegakure, true to the name was always raining. Making the trip had been tiresome to say the very least, but they were here now, and Shikamaru was ready to get the mission over with already.

He sat in a busy corner of the bar occupying a high top table where he could blend in but still had Neji in his direct line of vision. His partner was at the bar by himself, doing his very best not to draw too much attention from anyone except for the man they had sought. An easy enough task— the rain ninja fancied himself a gorgeous man, Neji fit the bill. Hyūga hadn’t altered his appearance much except plain jōnin attire and the plate-less band around his forehead. Shikamaru, in hopes of looking less suspicious, also donned his jōnin outfit, sans the green vest.

"Incoming," Neji whispered.

Around his neck was what would appear to most to be a black cloth choker, in reality, it disguised his mic so Shikamaru would be able to hear everything. The ninja they had their eyes on was preoccupied at the other end of the bar for nearly forty minutes; their plan was working though. He was trying to catch Neji's attention the entire time. Neji didn't so much as bat an eye in his direction. At long last, the rain ninja sauntered over smelling distinctly of booze, cigarettes, and sweat. 

“Waiting for your boyfriend?”

Neji spared him a glance then plastered on an impeccably convincing smile. “What would make you think that?”

“Oh,” The ninja nearly purred. “Your girlfriend, perhaps?”

“Guess again. I’m not meeting anyone.” Neji responded coolly.

He returned his attention to his glass of would-be-wine— it was just cranberry juice— and took a long, slow swallow sensually enough to make the man lick his lips. The ninja braced his weight on the bar top with one arm, unknowingly obstructing Shikamaru's view as he leaned in closer to Neji.

“Come on, lovely thing like you isn’t here all alone.” He insisted.

“You’re right,” Neji conceded with an alluring smirk. “I’m here with my glass of wine.”

The man chuckled at that and dared to brush his fingers through Neji's brown locks, fascinated that it was as silky and smooth to touch as it looked. Shikamaru watched his partner's silver eyes waiting for a crack in his facade, but it never came. Neji was phenomenal.

“You’ve shut down everyone who’s tried to approach you.” The ninja spoke deviously.

“I’m glad you already know what your fate will be.” Neji teased.

Another chuckle. “I’m not like the rest of them.”

“No? I think the last two said the same thing.” Neji looked away like he was trying to remember, but Shikamaru assumed it was to reign in control.

“Can you blame any of us for trying? You are positively gorgeous.” He crooned.

“That I am. And also, _very_ preoccupied on a significant date with myself. Have a pleasant evening." Neji dismissed.

This time when Neji took his eyes off the rain ninja, he immediately rounded to the Hyūga’s other side and helped himself to the empty stool. The man placed his hand on the small of Neji’s back leaning in far closer than was acceptable for a stranger, fingers idly playing with the ends of long brunette hair.

"You know, usually when I'm in a room all eyes on me." He nearly bragged.

“Don’t tell me you came over here because I’m stealing your thunder.” Neji made a point of licking the rim of his glass when a small trickle of juice ran down the side.

The man’s eyes flagrantly followed Neji’s tongue until it was back in his mouth. “Hyūga, right?”

“Nothing gets by you.” Neji jibed.

“You look familiar.” He furrowed his brows then and tried to place where they may have met before.

"I'm a Hyūga." Neji's irritation threatened to slip out but was masked quickly with another provocative grin. "If you've seen one of us, you've seen us all.

“I’ve seen _plenty_ of your kind.” The man assured him. “They don’t look like you.”

“Am I to assume it means you like what you see?” Neji sat up a little straighter hoping to thwart the man’s touch from his body, but it did no good.

The rain ninja leaned in to whisper in Neji’s ear, “I’d like to see more.”

A shiver of disgust shook Shikamaru. Did people always talk to Neji in such a way when he went out? Sure, this particular bar the rain ninja frequented had a reputation for people hooking up before the end of the night, but to just blatantly assume sex was an option not even ten minutes into the conversation seemed unfathomable. He hadn't had his earpiece on when they first arrived; there wasn't a need for it since the target wasn't in sight yet. Shikamaru wondered how many of the men he'd watched making passes at Neji were as bold as this man.

“Where are you from, beautiful?” The ninja inquired.

“I’m a traveling merchant. I don’t stay anywhere long.” Neji supplied.

“My kind of fuck.” He breathed.

“You’re quite brazen, aren’t you?” Neji rasied an elegant brow.

“I bet you do very well as a merchant.” The man was touching Neji’s elbow, moving up to caress his arm as he drew their seats closer together. “Looks like yours, you could charm anyone to paying whatever you want.”

Neji lifted his glass, peering over the rim he said, “I assure you I always get what I want,” then took another long sip.

Even from where Shikamaru sat he could see the lust clouding the rain ninja's eyes, the wild animal in him threatening to swipe the bar clear and throw Neji on top of it just to rip his clothes away. Shikamaru told himself he needed to relax. If Neji could tolerate the scumbag in his personal space, rubbing him and breathing on him, then the least he could do was maintain his composure until it was time to act. He hoped it would be soon and he hoped he would get a chance to land a few hits on the man.

“Let me buy you a drink.” He offered.

"If you promise not to bore me," Neji breathed, shifting to face the rain ninja, so their legs slipped together. "I'll let you buy me two drinks."

Shikamaru made a mental note to ask Neji about where he learned to be so seductive without any dating experience. He didn't want to believe ANBU gave out lessons on the art of seduction, although knowing Hyūga he'd avoid giving a legitimate answer by claiming such a thing were true. Somewhere not so deep down he had a feeling that his friend might just be the kind of person who could call upon his sensuality when needed; own it, control it and use it to his advantage. Shikamaru would look positively foolish if he ever tried using his charms to woo anyone.

Thankfully, they had arrived at the bar long before it opened to catch up with the bartender. Neji'd put on quite a convincing act as a distraught man who suspected his abusive ex-boyfriend might be in town. He begged the woman that should anyone order him a drink, no matter who it was, she would give him juice or soda instead. Neji had picked the right cards to play, the story resonated with the bartender easily, and when the rain ninja finally did wave her down to place an order, the Hyūga shot her the most fearful look he could muster. She never gave him one drop of alcohol.

The next time Nara and Neji spoke about their future, Shikamaru planned to insist that he would be a fabulous actor. There wasn't a single ounce of liquor in his system, yet he had started slouching, leaning on the rain ninja more, and his cheeks had a rosy hue. Shikamaru didn't know how his roommate did it, but it was incredible, to say the least.

Neji grazed his palms up the man’s forearm, humming low. “Tell me about these tattoos?”

“You like tattoos, baby?” The rain ninja grinned smugly and rolled up his sleeves so Neji could see more.

“Scales... like a dragon?” Neji cocked his head as if he hadn’t already seen a case file on the man indicating what all the tattoos were.

“My whole body is designed like a dragon, from the scales to the claws and everything in between.” He put his hand on Neji’s knee. “Guess where the head is.”

"I can imagine," Neji muttered. "Shouldn't the head of a dragon be vast and powerful?"

The man tossed his head back, taking a shot of whatever concoction he’d ordered for himself in one gulp. He clanked the glass down and slid his hand up higher, his thumb ghosting inside Neji’s thigh.

“You’ll see just how monstrous my head is later.” Shikamaru internally groaned from across the room at the innuendo. “Do you have any tattoos?”

“I do.” Neji grinned, clamping a hand down on the man’s wrist to keep him from exploring any further. “But you’ll have to wait to see it.”

“Aw, don’t tell me you’re playing shy now.” He asked as he squeezed Neji’s leg.

“It’s somewhere very indecent.” Neji lied. “But enough about me. Tell me more about these sexy tattoos you have.”

And in case the slow, sultry drawl of Neji's voice didn't make the rain ninja think Hyūga was getting turned on the foot running up the side of his leg confirmed his suspicion. Shikamaru felt the sudden need to shove a bar of soap in both of his ears and spray a bottle of bleach in his eyes. Watching his friends whenever they were earnestly flirting made him extremely uncomfortable, the act always seemed too private to be shared with someone not involved.

Hearing and seeing Neji fake his way through it made the knot in his stomach twist. Twice now Shikamaru had to swallow back a mouthful of bile. He barely tuned into the rest of the conversation after the rain ninja removed his shirt, turning and twisting in the dully lit bar to show off his ink to Neji. The Hyūga maintained an impenetrable act, ogling a large pair of intricate eyes that went across the ninja's shoulder blades.

"This would be a tad unsettling for anyone behind you," Neji commented, feather light touch ghosting over the artwork.

“Nobody gets behind me, sweetheart.” The man chuckled. “I have to watch my back.”

Symbolism be damned, the rain ninja had tattooed a pair of eyes on his back to do exactly that. The ninja leaned in between Neji’s legs so close their noses almost touched had Hyūga not swayed back a bit. That only made the man smirk, he loved a challenge. So, he planted both hands on the bar on either side of Neji practically pinning him and darted forward for a kiss. Neji was faster, snatching his napkin off the counter to guard his lips. The glass in Shikamaru’s hand shattered earning several nosy pairs of eyes in his direction, curses flying from under his breath while he cleaned up the mess trying to ignore the blood thudding in his ears.

The rage clawing inside Shikamaru he didn't understand, didn't have the luxury of time to think about what might be behind the fire he had roaring in his eyes looking at the rain ninja and Neji peering at one another, the napkin the only thing keeping their lips apart. He hated the sensation with every fiber of his being, but the more he fought against it, the more it smoldered through his body. Shikamaru didn't hear Neji asking their target to take him someplace more comfortable; he couldn't see the two of them getting up to leave or the flicker Hyūga sent his way before they disappeared.

Did ANBU frequently use Neji for raunchy operations? How many times had the Hokage willingly sent one of her best ninjas away to be fondled, groped and pawed at? This was _not_ what Shikamaru signed up for. A waitress with blue curly locks drug Shikamaru out of his mind back to the bar, beady eyes taking a while to erase the haze which consumed him.

“You alright, sugar?” She repeated.

"I'm fine,” Shikamaru assured her.

He was anything but fine. Neji was gone. _Shit._ He couldn’t risk drawing attention to himself by fleeing out of the bar on the off chance the ninja they’d hunted down had lackeys who might try and stop him. So, against his better judgment and will, Shikamaru entertained the friendly waitress with idle conversation for an acceptable amount of time, paid his bill and left. His earpiece still buzzed with the two voices he now needed to find which was a good sign. Neji'd left him a trail to follow by dragging his foot along now and then leaving marks in the dirt Shikamaru could use to track them down.

With a growl, Shikamaru launched into the trees and soared along with the path as quickly as his legs would take him hoping that if Neji suddenly needed backup, he would be close enough to help before it was too late. Just as a cottage came into view he spotted the duo, the rain ninja practically hurling Neji against the door. Shikamaru descended to a bush close enough to keep the pair in his line of vision yet remain undetected even the most skilled chakra readers. Somehow, though, Neji found him, his pale eyes locked to where Shikamaru sat hunched over, and Nara was sure he imagined it, but it looked like relief had washed over the Hyūga. The rain ninja pinned Neji with his body then hoisted the man's leg up and husked something so erotically filthy into the prodigy's ear it made Shikamaru turn beet red.

Neji's face contorted for a fraction of a second, dueling against his meticulous instincts screeching for him to protect himself, to do what he was trained best to do. Instead, Neji forced a breathy laugh while the ninja began kissing the shell of his ear. It was wet, Shikamaru heard it clearly, and his fists were balled so tightly the blunt end of his nails pierced the skin.

"Take your hands off me if you don't want to lose them," Neji warned quietly figuring the low tone would convince the ninja he was trying to be sexy.

“So _feisty_.” The ninja breathed, his tongue dangling at Neji’s earlobe. “I get it, baby. You only want me to use my mouth. I’m happy to oblige, but let’s get you inside first.”

Shikamaru's eyes prickled and burned, unblinking as he watched his friend disappear inside the house. Immediately after the door clicked shut the earpiece buzzed with a gasp then shuffling followed by a strained groan. Neji had the ninja held in a deadly headlock, his forearm pressed so close he was cutting off the enemy's circulation and probably the ability to breathe, but he didn't care.

“Y-You bitch!” rasped the man.

“You know what I’m here for.” Neji’s voice lost all traces of inebriation and lust. “Do us both a favor and tell me where the scrolls are."

Helpless hands flew up trying to scratch Neji's arm away, but it was too late, the ninja had already lost too much oxygen in his brain and whatever strength he had would be drained away completely with his consciousness in a matter of seconds. The rain ninja snarled, drew his head forward then slammed backward, smashing Neji's skull into the door behind them then into his forehead again. It disoriented Neji enough to slacken his grip. Blood ran from his nostrils, Neji figured his nose must’ve been broken if the pins and needles throbbing at the bridge was any indication.

He chased after the ninja who made a beeline upstairs more likely than not going after his prized scrolls, but Neji was not an easy man to outrun. He met the ninja in the middle of the stairwell, ducked the first punch and then caught the second one. Neji frowned when he heard movement in the distance, a flash of annoyance in his lilac eyes for having been fooled by a clone. A knee to the groin sent the ninja's shadow clone away in a puff of smoke, and once again Neji went soaring up the stairs into the only open door on the whole floor.

“A sexy thing like you ought to know better than to flirt with danger.”

Neji's rotation jutsu should've seamlessly disarmed the man who stood behind him and would have, if not for another puff of smoke. Realization hit Hyūga too little too late; his blind spot was exposed. Sturdy hands wrapped around Neji's throat and squeezed so hard it left him dizzy, barely registering that he was shoved onto a mattress and the rain ninja now sat on top of him. When had the man gotten so heavy? He cursed to himself, sparing a quick squint at the mirror on the ceiling and reflection of the hideous tattoo on the ninja's back gawking at him.

Something told Neji that their intel on what sort of jutsus and power the sketchy ninja possessed was incorrect. The man had amplified his size and weight unbeknownst to Neji, the very weight now securing him in place. He folded his lips into his mouth just as the ninja leaned down to kiss him. They stared at one another, Neji’s steely, emotionless gaze not yielding to the pleasure dancing in the eyes above him. Despite the skirmish between their eyes, the Byakugan user’s mind focused on everything but the rain ninja who frantically attempted to wedge his tongue into Neji’s mouth.

"You were pretty quick to hide your lips from me. Not your first time in a compromising position, I see." The rain ninja dug his elbow into Neji's neck to hold him down, his free hand slipping between their bodies. "Then you already know it will hurt less if you don't resist."

The click of the ninja’s belt sounded as a lightbulb went off in Neji’s mind. He lunged, cracked their foreheads together and dislodged himself with another head-butt that left them both bleary-eyed, but he had no time to waste.

“Shikamaru!”

The shadow wielder kicked in the door in half a second flat— he had already crept inside the house when his visual from the windows was lost. Shikamaru’s jutsu captured the man without a fight, but upon noticing the blood oozing from Neji’s nose and the bruises forming on his throat, Nara sent a few shadows around the rain ninja’s neck successfully starving him of air for good measure. Neji tossed a pair of kunai at the mirror, shattering it instantly along with a burlap sack that was hidden behind it, all of which tumbled onto the bed. How stupid of the rain ninja to give Neji the hint of watching his back.

“You foolish brats.” A voice echoed.

Shikamaru and Neji shared a mortified look just before the ninja caught in the shadows went away with a gust of smog. _Impossible!_ Just who were they dealing with? Why hadn't either of them detected the difference in clone chakra? Veins spidered from the corners of Neji's eyes, and he surveyed the room. Shikamaru cried out, and even though every fiber of Neji's being begged him not to look, he did it anyway, his vision compromised when he turned his head and instantaneously he had hands in his hair dragging him to his knees.

Shikamaru’s shadows swept up to defend him, barricading the Nara for the time being so he could collect his bearings. This was bad. All their intel on the rogue rain ninja had failed them. He never got the opportunity to reflect on what that meant or devise his next move; his shadows were being pried apart by a brute strength that Shikamaru couldn't possibly fend off at such proximity. Cursing, he broke the jutsu and flipped backward out of the way. Or what he hoped was out of the way.

The rain ninja slammed into him, they tumbled to the ground with limbs locked and exchanged punches the best they could manage while rolling across the floor. Shikamaru did not fare well in hand to hand combat; he needed a new strategy. The ninja snatched Shikamaru up by his ponytail and flung him at the wall, cratering a hole nearly the size of Nara's body. He fell to his hands and knees limply, coughed out a wad of blood then rolled aside barely dodging the kunai meant for his forehead.

The rain ninja glided toward him as if he were floating, an impossibly fast barrage of punches barreled Shikamaru down without a window to evade, each blow deliberate and getting closer to fatal damage with just one touch. A horrid sound screeched from Neji, forcing Shikamaru to make sloppy use of his shadows, wedging a gap between himself and the bloodthirsty ninja long enough to locate his comrade. His heart stopped beating. The man, or clone since Shikamaru still didn't know which figure was the real one, had a large hand wrapped around Neji's forehead where the bandana had fallen. Veins protruded from the pale skin effortlessly, and the once green curse mark now seemed a dull yellow.

Only Hyūga could activate the mark, right? That meant the ninja was doing something else that affected it the same way and Shikamaru couldn’t be sure what just yet, all he knew was the Neji was _dying_. Another shadow imitation wrapped around the version of the rain ninja he had been fighting, but this time he did not hesitate to allow his neck-binding technique to strangle the man to death. Another burst of smoke. That left the real deal engaged with Neji.

“I should have known when I saw you at the bar that you were together.” The rain ninja spoke, releasing Neji who dropped bonelessly on the ground. “I didn’t recognize either of you. A foolish mistake I won’t make again.”

"No," Shikamaru agreed, a kunai dropped from his sleeve, and he spun it around his index finger. "That mistake just cost you your life."

As anticipated, the rain ninja sprung forward, and Shikamaru tossed the kunai haphazardly past the man, the blade stabbed into place on the far wall, immediately suspending his opponent in midair in a cross of nearly invisible wire. Shikamaru looked at Neji, relieved the older man was already getting to his knees despite the curse mark still looking dangerously close to a disappearing act.

The rain ninja howled angrily and bucked into the thin string bounding him. “When did you set this up?”

"This isn't my first fight," Shikamaru spoke. "Wire string is always a useful tool to carry. Just in case."

He might have liked to gloat over outsmarting the ninja given the fact that it _was_ only his second ANBU mission and they _had_ grossly underestimated their opponent. However, when a dry chuckle puffed at the back of his neck and a dark shadow loomed beyond his own Shikamaru knew he had miscalculated. He chanced a glance to where the rain ninja had been strung up just in time to see smoke dissipating. Another clone. Shikamaru braced himself for impact with the word _troublesome_ pounding through his head.

Neji swiveled his body at lightning speed, cutting across the distance as he hurled into a propelling motion so fast it left Shikamaru reeling, and the precision of each jab debilitated the rain ninja effortlessly. One final, lethal blow of his palm sent the man crashing past Shikamaru. He did not move again nor did his figure disappear in a rush of smoke. He was dead. Neji wheezed and panted as he tried to suck in oxygen, coupled with the sound of Shikamaru's heavy gasping just beside him

Lilac meant onyx then they moved in perfect synch, Shikamaru grabbed the center of Hyūga's vest to drag him closer just as Neji's palms bunched the front of the younger's shirt in a vice grip. They never looked away from one another, not even once the taste of their breaths wafting together and puffing over their faces became uncomfortably warm. The feeling shook Shikamaru from his very core, and the slight shake from Neji's ordinarily stiff form told him it was mutual. What _it_ was Shikamaru did not know nor did he dare venture a guess. He did, however, understand he'd never experienced dread so suffocating before or a more alleviating sensation once it was gone.

Shikamaru nudged the tip of his nose with Neji's once. When Neji didn't draw away, he brushed their noses again, gradually worked their skin together from the tip to the bridge where their brows touched and he continued the slant until the slope of their foreheads was all that remained. It was undoubtedly the most intimate physical contact Shikamaru had ever experienced with anyone in his entire life. Shikamaru would never be capable of putting into words why the connection was so astounding or how it brought him down from the height of his emotions to ground him there with his friend. But it was just the two of them, just him and Neji, and Neji never needed words to understand what Shikamaru had to say.

They would never be able to work another mission together again, Shikamaru decided. It was too dangerous, too volatile and unpredictable. He had nearly discarded years of rigorous training for Hyūga, a problem he'd never encountered before. Shikamaru made the distinction between the mission and his relationships almost as well as Neji himself, so it didn't make a lick of sense for _either_ ANBU operatives to abandon their sense of duty. The Nara hadn’t had difficulty keeping his mind on the tasks given to him when it involved his closest friends or his father or even his sensei. Neji should not and could not be an exception to that rule.

Had their casual dependency on one another shifted to essential obsession? Shikamaru believed it easily enough; the moment he thought Neji might be dying he'd found a reserve of chakra he didn't know he possessed. Likewise, the brunette had been near death's door until he saw the shadow wielder in danger. Neji had killed a man to stop him from hurting Shikamaru. _Shit._

“How are we going to explain this?” Shikamaru asked, not breaking their eye contact.

“ _We_ are not. I am.” Neji decided firmly.

Shikamaru frowned and would have shaken his head if it weren’t still sealed to the older man. “Neji—”

“I protected a rookie ANBU member and got carried away. It won’t hurt my rank the way it could destroy yours.” Neji interrupted.

“This isn’t your fault.” Shikamaru thought Neji needed to hear those words now more than ever.

"Yes, it is my fault. I let him into my blind spot." Neji frowned deeply, and the glimmer of fury flickering in his eyes suggested he might pull away.

Shikamaru tightened his hold on Neji’s vest, his stare just as determined. “I was supposed to back you up. You can’t bla-“

“He almost _killed_ you!”

Neji drew a staggered breath and finally broke their gaze. Instead, he focused on the fabric of Shikamaru's shirt that remained balled in his fists. Once more, Shikamaru had misinterpreted his friend. The emotion Shikamaru had confused in Neji's moonstone orbs was fear, so alien to the prodigy that he had no idea what to do with it or how to express himself appropriately. Shikamaru closed his eyes, steadily relaxed the grip on his friend's vest and allowed his arms to slip around Neji; the embrace brought them closer together. He felt the tension from the older man's body slacken ever so slightly. Never good with words, Shikamaru spoke truthfully and hoped his friend could understand as per usual the sentiment was reciprocated.

“Almost killed you, too.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy bananas that was a long chapter, sorry about that.  
> To clarify, no, they did not kiss and there is nothing romantic happening between them at the end of the chapter. Nothing they can acknowledge anyway. It's more coming to terms with how important they are to one another. Yes, their actions are extremely affectionate because other than actions they don't know how to express themselves. I hope that was clear.


	21. Chapter 21

The last thing Shikamaru felt like doing was mingling with his comrades while he ate his lunch, yet here he was walking into the shared cafeteria despite his utmost displeasure with the whole idea. His ANBU squad leader made it clear that if they wanted to eat before going off on the next mission, they needed to do so without leaving the Academy grounds. Troublesome. Since he and Neji returned from their mishap in Amegakure, they had been assigned to non-stop missions supposedly by happenstance, but Shikamaru knew better. Neji, of course, took full blame for the incident, sighting his concern the rookie under his care was in grave danger, and he had no choice but to use excessive force. Except this wasn't the first time, Hyūga was assigned an underling of sorts. His training methods genuinely considered that if a ninja made it to ANBU, they were skilled enough to handle themselves.

Tsunade didn't believe a single word coming out of Neji's mouth, however, for reasons Shikamaru didn't know the full extent of, she did not chastise or discipline the long-haired shinobi. Not directly anyway. Shikamaru believed that the surplus of missions suddenly thrust into their laps was a direct result of her orders. Who was he to fight a rightfully earned punishment? Though, he had half a mind to tell Tsunade everything was his fault and Neji had nothing to do with it. She'd already deduced Shikamaru to be involved in some way or the other, hence why his mission load also increased. If he could get the blame off Neji, maybe she would cut him a break. Gods knew the brunette needed it.

His qualm with eating in the cafeteria had nothing to do with his fellow ANBU members. It offered him the opportunity to catch up with the Hyūga since they hadn't seen one another in roughly two weeks. News had spread of an Akatsuki ambush on one of the elite ANBU teams. Shikamaru prayed for the first time in his life, prayed that Neji wasn't on that team. He should've known better than to even bother, why _wouldn’t_ it be Neji’s team? The shadow manipulator didn’t sleep a wink until confirmation that all three ANBU elites had returned with critical injuries, nothing fatal. And it was his full intention to visit Neji in the hospital, but his own missions kept him away.

“Hey, Shikamaru!” the rowdy blonde called a pitch too loud for Shikamaru’s liking.

There it was right there bounding over to him— the reason Shikamaru did _not_ wish to eat lunch in the cafeteria. Before the war, ANBU ate in separate quarters because their identity was meant to remain unknown among the villagers. Now with Konoha's numbers so sparse, most of the remaining ANBU operatives doubled leading jōnin teams or were required to use lower ranked ninjas for assistance on their missions. Tsunade saw no reason to keep the groups apart for the time being. Naturally, ANBU remained a top-secret classification, and all shinobi understood the two worlds were never to be minced. All Shikamaru wanted with his plate of mackerel was peace and quiet. He looked down at the grilled fish and sighed deeply. At least he would get a delicious meal.

“Yo.” Shikamaru greeted with a casual wave.

Naruto skidded to a stop in front of him, screwed his eyes shut tight and beamed a shit-eating grin only Uzumaki himself could pull off. Shikamaru braced a hand on his hip and shook his head. Whatever it was Naruto wanted would have to wait, he _was_ on a schedule after all.

“You have to see Neji’s dorky new mask!” Naruto blabbed, lips wriggling with the effort of not laughing.

Shikamaru’s interest was piqued. Neji, the opposite of troublesome. He followed Naruto a short distance and cast a lazy gaze to the table where his roommate sat. Neji’s brows were knitted in what Nara assumed to be concentration since the man didn’t bare any of the usual signs of irritation. His coal colored eyes stopped at the aforementioned mask. Before he got a chance to examine the ANBU mask, Neji scooped it up and held it in his lap away from Naruto.

“For the last time, _Naruto_ ,” Neji spoke with no particular anguish in his voice, although he did narrow his eyes to the blonde. “You are not to touch my ANBU mask. You can be punished for it, you know.”

“Oh, come _on!_ I’m not going to wear it out of the lunchroom, yeesh.” Naruto pouted.

Troublesome Naruto and his childish behavior— the man was definitely too old to have his lip jutting out like that. Shikamaru sat in the empty seat across from Neji and received an earful from Naruto who had apparently been the previous occupant. He wasn't listening to the rambunctious ninja anymore, too busy scrutinizing every inch of his best friend he could see from their seated position searching for evidence the brunette might still be injured. Neji caught him in the middle of the inspection, but Shikamaru didn’t bother to stop until he was satisfied. He flashed a sheepish half-smile when their eyes met and shrugged. Neji would understand what he meant.

“You look good, Hyūga.” Shikamaru nodded his words, grateful his friend had sought medical attention for once.

Neji quirked one corner of his lip, a stark contrast to the expressive Hyūga Shikamaru had come to know, but it was more of a reaction than the stoic man typically allowed in front of so many people. He folded his hands on the table and leaned a little closer; his long bangs spilled over his shoulder which did not go unnoticed by Shikamaru. Nor was Hyūga’s tiny smile as the shadow wielder stared overlooked.

“As do you.” Neji offered without inflection. “It’s good to see you.”

“Er…geez guys get a room.” Naruto snorted, propping his hands behind his head. “Don’t you two live together?”

The comment struck Shikamaru just the same as if someone had smacked him square across the face. Everyone at the table eyeballed the cloud watcher when he choked on a piece of fish, but none of their stares lingered with the exception of one luminous pair of eyes watching him positively puzzled. Naruto took advantage of the distraction, crouched down and tore Neji's ANBU mask from his lap with a gleeful squeak. Neji rolled his eyes but did not move to retrieve his mask for the time being.

“Are you alright?” He questioned.

“Yeah, but what the hell was that supposed to mean?” Shikamaru finally managed.

Rolling his eyes was becoming a habit for Neji. "Ignore Naruto; he's a buffoon."

“ _Huh?!_ ” Naruto roared, slamming a palm on the table to extend himself dangerously close to Neji’s face. “What did you say Hyūga?”

“Did I stutter?” Neji asked, fixing a stern gaze on the blue eyes glaring at him.

“Tch, whatever. You can act like a tough guy all you want. That doesn’t explain why you got a mask inspired by Santa Claus!” Naruto chortled.

“For the last time, Uzumaki, it is _not_ a reindeer.” Neji sounded like his patience was about to expire.

“Yeah, right! Shikamaru, help me out here!” Naruto lifted the ANBU mask up to his face still snickering to himself behind it. “Am I a reindeer or what?”

Shikamaru blinked ridiculously slow, his steadily widening eyes studying the intricately crafted mask for a long while. So much time in fact that Naruto had lowered it and peered at the shadow wielder with his head cocked and a dumb look on his face. Shikamaru bristled at the attention and scowled.

“You are so stupid. It’s a stag.” Shikamaru looked down at his plate as he stabbed a piece of fish, tacking on a grumbled, “Troublesome fool.”

Naruto groaned. “I thought you were one of the cool guys, Shikamaru. I should’ve known you would take your roommate’s side.”

"Naruto," Neji called with practiced restraint.

“Aw, come on. Can’t I at least wear it when Kakashi comes in?” Naruto pleaded.

“Naruto.” The long-haired ninja tried again, eyes closed as he counted backward from ten.

“Oh!” Naruto exclaimed. “If I grab a pillowcase I can use that as my bag of presents. Kakashi will lov-“

“ _Naruto!_ ”

“Damn it, Naruto.” Kiba barked from behind the blonde before he snatched the mask away and tossed it on the table. “Give the Princess back the mask before he gets his panties in a knot.”

Shikamaru shot Kiba a stern, piercing glare that made Inuzuka frown, unsure why the hell the ponytailed man was looking at him that way. With a scoff and an eye roll, he disappeared back to wherever he'd come from moments earlier. Lee jogged over to steer Naruto away with an encouraging rant about the prank they could play on Sakura if they hurried.

“What happened to your mask?” Shikamaru asked coolly, ignoring the burning question _and why did you get a stag_ throbbing on the tip of his tongue.

"It shattered during the last mission; the Akatsuki run in," Neji explained. "Split straight down the middle."

For once Shikamaru could see the use of wearing a forehead protector beneath the ANBU mask, which Neji always did, and he silently thanked the older man for what he considered a troublesome habit. If a force had struck Neji great enough to crack the mask, then it could've done far worse damage. Shikamaru pushed some food around on his plate as he chanced a peek at the white and red porcelain.

Shikamaru cleared his throat so Neji would look at him then gave a slow roll of his shoulders. “I’ve been thinking about trading mine in for a new one. A design this time instead of a standard issue.”

“Shikamaru,” Neji said quietly, though he could not hide the look of mortification in his eyes. “Don’t you think it will be a bit weird if we both start wearing stag masks?”

“Nah, no stag for me.” Shikamaru chuckled. “I have something better in mind.”

At the next ANBU briefing, Shikamaru arrived with a falcon mask bound to his hip and his signature bored expression as he shoved his hands in his pockets once stationed beside Neji. Sasuke gave them a strange look that day.


	22. Chapter 22

Were it not for the fact that Shikamaru was watching Neji train with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have noticed at all and could’ve blissfully gone about his day cloud gazing. How could someone use their whole body as a weapon in such a graceful manner? Shikamaru abandoned his reason for lounging in the field, clouds, in favor of watching Neji who undoubtedly was far more interesting. The duo shared a rare day off together for the first time in months. Though they lived together and saw one another in passing between missions at home or at ANBU briefings it didn’t feel like enough. Most people would probably spend their day off doing something productive, maybe visiting friends and family. Shikamaru found that the only person he longed to spend his free hours with was the very ninja catapulting through the plateau.

The Hyūga clan fighting methods were truly an art form. It dazed Shikamaru and relaxed him like he was watching a performance, though he knew how deadly the strikes from Neji's palms could be. Beautiful. No other word could describe looking at a member of the Hyūga clan training, the thought of which sent a warm feeling fluttering through the pit of Shikamaru's stomach. The family was extremely private about their fighting style and Byakugan even when it came to the different houses within the clan there were certain techniques and secrets not meant to be seen. Neji had picked a training ground outside of the village, so far off the beaten path no one would find him, yet invited Shikamaru to come along.

Neji had a habit of sharing the most private parts of his life with Shikamaru, solidifying the shadow wielder's sentiment that they were much more than just roommates. If asked, he would deny having a favorite friend if only to spare himself Ino's intolerable shrieking and Chōji's fits of depressed eating. And it wasn't totally a lie when he told people he never bothered to pick favorites. Just somehow, Neji Hyūga had wormed himself into the position of Shikamaru's best friend. A thought which should've been troublesome, but Shikamaru accepted it without a fight.

Shikamaru knew when Neji’s rotation had slowed to a stop and the older man extended a hand what it was for— a request for them to spar with one another. Reasonable enough. Shikamaru could use the extra practice with hand to hand fights plus even a supposed genius understood that the Hyūga had plenty to teach in the art of combat. It would be an afternoon well spent if he took Neji’s hand, got off his lazy ass and learned a thing or two. With a grunt, Shikamaru grabbed Neji by the wrist and yanked suddenly.

Fortunately, expectedly, Neji had foreseen the ponytailed man’s wheels turning and caught himself nimbly before hitting the ground. The brunette didn’t resist Shikamaru’s wordless invitation. Because for just as much as Shikamaru ought to be training, Neji should be resting and they always managed to balance one another out in the end. Hyūga reclined beside his friend, propped up on his elbows and shut his eyes to enjoy the silent but always comfortable companionship. The afternoon had not been wasted after all even if Shikamaru never looked at the clouds, at least he’d gotten Neji to take a breather.

He figured Neji's home training had never afforded him any breaks and that was why the pale-eyed ninja never stopped. The Hyūga clan’s training methods were well known to be savage nearing the point of abuse. Shikamaru's brow furrowed recalling the reason Neji joined ANBU had been to escape. They'd never expanded upon what it meant. Naively, Shikamaru hoped it to be something frivolous such as family obligations or cramped living quarters. Not so deep down he suspected that couldn't be the case.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Neji’s tranquil voice sounded beside him.

"Hng," Shikamaru grunted.

“What’s on your mind, Shikamaru?” Neji asked, his eyes cracking open.

“You,” he replied honestly, but quickly added, “Your family.”

Neji turned his head in the grass to look at Shikamaru. “Like where I learned to fight?”

“Like what happened to make you keen on joining ANBU.” Shikamaru countered.

He mirrored the brunette’s movement, their eyes meeting instantly and Shikamaru could tell that Neji wanted to look away, but he wouldn’t. If there was one thing the stubborn, proud Hyūga was not, it was a quitter. The man couldn’t afford to show any sign of weakness even if he was just lying in the grass talking with his friend. To avert his gaze would reveal discomfort, an emotion he was very familiar with but forbidden to express. Shikamaru could see straight through the steel wall of ice Neji tried to mask in his eyes, could see the internal struggle of answers trying to break out.

"I'm not going to push you," Shikamaru assured his roommate.

To reinforce his words, Shikamaru ended their staring match with a yawn and focused on his beloved fluffy white clouds. Neji’s whole posture changed. After all this time and as well as they knew one another, Shikamaru didn’t think Neji should expect him to be the sort of person who demanded answers. Usually, he would claim it was too troublesome or too much work, both valid points. When it came to the Hyūga though the last thing Shikamaru ever wanted to do was remind the man of his family. He knew without needing to be told Hiashi Hyūga orchestrated every moment of Neji's life when he lived in the compound, dictating what information his nephew had to divulge no matter how personal it may be. Shikamaru had no problem sidestepping the conversation as long as Neji never drew comparisons between him and that awful family.

"Did you know," Neji began, taking a slow, unsteady breath. "The main house and branch house are named as such because the divided clan members live in different buildings?"

Shikamaru never gave it any thought before, but he could’ve guessed it with very little thinking so he merely nodded after deciding it would be best to let Neji guide them wherever the conversation was headed.

“All of the homes are connected to the main hallway, one of the few places members from both sections are permitted to mingle together. The main house practically lives in mansions well beyond the basic requirements one needs to have a comfortable life." Neji explained.

“And the branch house?” Shikamaru had a feeling he didn’t want to know the answer.

“Because we are servants we’re accustomed to keeping our living spaces immaculate. But they are much smaller and overcrowded. No one has their own bedroom.” Neji responded.

The very idea of servitude infuriated Shikamaru, touched nerves in him that nothing else seemed capable of doing. People being enslaved to wait hand and foot on others dated back in time as far as Konoha's records went. Revolution would wipe the disgusting practice away for a while, but it always managed to creep in again. According to every archive book Shikamaru had ever read, the Hyūga clan held the track record for the longest period throughout history of mandatory service. When challenged by the Hokage or other influential leaders, the main house would insist that the curse seal was only meant to protect Hyūga clan secrets.

Everyone knew the main house abused their power, forced branch members to dedicate their lives to the clan’s misguided principles. But, as the Hyūga clan was revered by every nation and proved to be the most powerful group of ninjas currently living they were permitted to carry on with their ways. Konoha turned a blind eye to the horrible things that went on among the Hyūgas, citing unwillingness the get involved with family matters. The way Shikamaru saw it by not putting an end to the problem the village became part of the problem.

“As branch members, we aren’t allowed to say no to any requests the main house gives us.” Neji tapped the metal of his headband. “You can guess the consequences if orders aren’t followed.”

“What kind of orders do they give you?” Shikamaru questioned.

“The things you’ve heard are true; cooking, cleaning, massages, drawing baths, running errands, so on and so forth.” Hyūga summarized.

“Branding your forehead with a torture weapon isn’t humiliating enough?” The younger snapped.

"My uncle promised my father he would watch over me, that he would take care of me. Whether he intended to do so on his own, I can't say for certain, but he did feel guilty enough to protect me from his house in the beginning. I was deemed off limits." Neji flashed a bitter smile when the last words left his mouth.

“Protect you from them? I thought you were required to serve, too?” Shikamaru looked at his friend slightly confused.

Neji’s eyes were on him instantaneously, a mix of empathy pooling in them. “Branch members are not allowed to say no to _anything_ , Shikamaru. Even a request for pleasure.”

Shikamaru sat straight up and hunched forward, both arms wrapped around his torso begging the bile bubbling in his stomach to stay down. As he dry heaved, Neji's watchful eyes studied every move without reacting. The brunette had anticipated how Shikamaru would respond to the news. Forcing the family to work as maids in spite of their blood relation could be explained by the differences in class— branch members were a lesser part of society and therefore deserved the servitude they were given according to the clan's distorted hierarchy. But to _violate_ a member of their own family was despicable.

Shikamaru hoped, oh how much he hoped, that Hiashi's protection was an overreaction. Neji Hyūga was strikingly beautiful and had been from the moment he was born, much more than the other members in both houses. It could be Hiashi worried someone would take advantage of their dominant position, despite how sick of an idea it was, and Neji being the nephew of the central houses' leader would be an appealing target. Shikamaru side eyed his friend waiting for confirmation. He needed to hear it; he needed to hear that Hyūgas didn't actually force branch members into consent they legally were not allowed to deny.

“I’ve met Hinata. I can’t imagine the Hyūga women being so aggressive.” Shikamaru attempted to lighten the air by guiding Neji closer to what he wanted the man to say.

“It’s not the women I worried about.” Neji shattered the illusion with a few simple words.

“Neji, please.” Shikamaru shut his eyes because he couldn’t see straight anymore and the whole world was spinning. “ _Please,_ tell me no one did that to you.”

He couldn’t handle the thought of it flickering in his imagination along with dozens of other scenarios too repulsive to linger on, yet the brilliant ninja could not shut his mind off no matter how desperately he tried. Shikamaru briefly considered bashing his head into a tree to make it stop. He sucked in sharply and waited with bated breath for Neji to speak. The shadow wielder may as well turn himself into the proper authorities right now if the long-haired shinobi told him someone had taken advantage of him.

Never one for violence or acting impulsively, Shikamaru was surprised to find himself crippled by the desire to slaughter Neji's entire clan. He wouldn't be able to do it alone, but he imagined enlisting help would not be complicated if he told the public what the Hyūga clan was doing. Gods what if they already knew? Tsunade was the Hokage and dealt with the noble clan frequently. Had she seen it? What about Sasuke? Wasn't he Neji's other best friend? Mercy be on their souls if Shikamaru _ever_ found out they had known all along.

Neji studied Nara with analytical eyes, weighing out the pros and cons of giving an honest answer, selecting which details he ought to omit to keep the emotional damage to a minimum. Hesitantly, Neji sat up and touched Shikamaru’s forearm.

“Several tried to exploit their control of the branch house, none of them ever got what they wanted from me."

The open admission diminished relief. Someone had still _tried_ to have their way with Neji. Shikamaru thought about the ANBU mission they'd undergone together. He replayed things the rain ninja hissed in Neji's ear, thought about the man's hands gripped possessively on the leaf shinobi. _Why?_ Why did Neji ever let Tsunade assign him to a mission like that? Why would he put himself in a position to reenact undoubtedly traumatic experiences?

“Gods, Neji.” Shikamaru croaked. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Hiashi agreed to protect me. The arrangement he made with the elders was that main house members were not to demand sexual favors of any kind on the condition that I received regular curse seal punishments to supplement.” Neji explained.

“Your uncle is a piece of human garbage.” Shikamaru spat. “If he earnestly wanted to protect you, he should’ve put an end to what his own house members were doing.”

Neji looked at him thoughtfully. “I do not know that he ever _wanted_ to protect me. His guilt compelled him to do so. I reminded him of his brother.”

“If that agreement was set forth, why did clansmen try anyway?” Shikamaru asked.

“There’s nothing more appealing than forbidden fruit, right?” Neji posed.

Shikamaru screwed his eyes shut tight once more.

“After the Chūnin Exams, Hiashi vowed that he would treat me the way my father envisioned. Promised to work towards securing the Hyūga clan's progression by changing how the cadet branch was used." Neji shrugged. "It wore off after a while. I couldn't do anything right anymore; punishments came several times a day. Branch house members had also turned their backs on me. So, I decided to join ANBU."

“He wanted to kill you. They were trying to break you.” Shikamaru punched the ground. “Hell, they _did_ break you.”

For the first time since their fated meeting back on the battlefield amidst a raging war, the silence shrouding them was anything but comfortable. Neji frowned deeply, so deep the creases across his forehead reached from one end to the other. His gaze fixed on the reddening hand Shikamaru'd whacked into the ground as he second-guessed his decision to open up about his clan. He'd never bothered to talk to anyone about it before, and he wasn't looking to be consoled nor did he seek pity. The only thing he hoped to gain by revealing such a deep, personal, vulnerable truth about himself was Shikamaru’s understanding.

Shikamaru sensed Neji's apprehension which he could usually disintegrate by cracking a joke or making a sarcastic remark. He didn't have it in him. However, he didn't want Neji to regret sharing because even though the information pained Shikamaru, he understood how difficult it was to peel Hyūga's layers away— and he wanted nothing more than to shred each one. Shikamaru reached his pinky and ring finger out to Neji's hand just beside him, latching onto the elder's index finger. Subtle, but potent.

“It’s a good thing then.” Neji talked so softly Shikamaru almost missed it. “That you’re here to put me back together.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

Neji jumped. Shikamaru shouted profanities.

“Are you alright?” Neji asked, his voice thick with concern.

Shikamaru Nara had just walked smack straight into the wall, leaving behind a dent where his forehead hit and a small trickle of blood from his nose. The man cursed again, dabbed the back of his hand to his nose to stop the flow. He glared at Neji, the cause of his aloof moment, and silently prayed for his sanity to get a fucking grip. Shikamaru nodded, quickly muttering off some excuse about being half asleep after his extended, grueling mission— which was, in fact, _true_ , but not the reason he'd been so distracted he didn't notice the wall until he was high-fiving it with his face.

Neji rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the steaming pot he loomed over, oblivious to the intense stare still fixed on the back of his head. His long, silky, brown locks were not flowing free nor drawn into a ponytail but instead hung in a single thick braid from the base of his neck. Satisfied that he was no longer bleeding, Shikamaru stalked over to his roommate and flicked the braid.

"This is new." Shikamaru sounded somewhat indifferent for someone staring so hard.

“Ah, yeah. Sasuke braided it for me." Neji explained. "It did the trick of keeping flyaway strands out of my face, but I don't think I'll do it again. Too time-consuming."

“Sasuke, huh?” Shikamaru developed a wicked grin. “So, you guys sit around and braid each other’s hair?”

“Don’t tease, Shikamaru. You know I hate it.” Neji warned.

A lie. Neji was smiling. Absentmindedly, Shikamaru traced a digit along the bumps and grooves of the braid, fascinated by the sheer length. Yes, he _knew_ Neji had long hair, but somehow seeing it twisted into one tight clump put things into perspective for the cloud gazer.

“Is this seriously what you guys do on your days off? Can I be there when you give him a manicure?” Shikamaru egged on.

“Keep it up, Nara.” Neji slanted his eyes, though his smile had yet to fade. “I’ll make sure the bathroom is extraordinarily filthy when it’s your turn to clean.”

Another lie. Hyūga was the cleanest person Shikamaru knew, almost to the point of obsession. Shikamaru was pretty sure even if Neji attempted to go through the act of trashing their bathroom the mess would keep him up at night, and he would clean everything before the shadow wielder even got a chance to see his punishment. Shikamaru stepped back, leaned on the counter with his hands now shoved deep in his pockets as he watched Neji cook.

“I like it.” He announced suddenly.

Neji scoffed. “You don’t have to flatter me now, Shikamaru. I’m not really going to destroy our bathroom.”

“I’m being serious.” Shikamaru insisted. “It looks good on you.”

That charming smile played on Neji’s lips again. “Thank you.”

Was there anything that _didn’t_ look good on Neji Hyūga? Shikamaru didn't put a lot of effort into the question, but the few dozen things he ran through in his mind answered outstandingly in favor of no, Neji was just one of those people who always appeared effortlessly elegant. He imagined that it made the women of Konoha insanely jealous to see Neji sporting such immaculate tresses. How could they hope to compare? And now that Shikamaru thought about it, his roommate didn't use any specialized products or techniques to maintain his healthy mane. Damn Hyūgas and their perfect hair.

“I’m making a stew. Are you staying for dinner?” Neji asked as he put a lid on the pot.

“For once the answer is yes. I’m off rotation for the rest of the night, unless an emergency comes up.” Shikamaru responded.

“If there’s an emergency we’ll both be called away.” Neji stated.

“Good point. I’m gonna shower.”

And with that Shikamaru disappeared into their shared bathroom. Except when he opened the closet to retrieve his shampoo, curiosity had gotten the better of him and instead of showering he used his time to inspect his roommate’s shelf. Neji wasn't the kind of man who liked strong odors, so the pungent, masculine body washes were out of the question. Floral or sweet would be too effeminate. When Shikamaru popped the cap open on Neji’s body wash and took a whiff, he anticipated sterile, fresh and crisp to assault his nostrils. What he got instead was dry, a tinge woody with the barest hint of galbanum. Quintessential Neji. 

Another thing he noticed in the closet was small bottles of oil. Most of them were scentless or mild, but a few had warmer undertones that reminded Shikamaru of sandalwood shampoo. He didn’t know why, but the newfound bit of information had him grinning like a Cheshire-cat. In spite of himself, Shikamaru rolled his eyes and decided he ought to at least rinse off and get his hair wet otherwise Neji would wonder what the hell he had been doing the whole time. He emerged from the bathroom a short while later, immediately spotting a very perturbed Hyūga sitting cross-legged on the couch. Had he ruined dinner? Suddenly been assigned to a mission?

Shikamaru stood in the living room shooting the older male an expectant look waiting for an explanation. Neji peered up at him for a moment then scowled and folded his arms tight across his chest. A lopsided grin curled at the corner of Shikamaru’s lips. He didn't speak a single word, he didn't need to, and Neji didn’t have to explain himself either. Silent understanding passed between them like usual. Shikamaru made a gesture for Neji to turn around waited for Hyūga to oblige and sat behind the Byakugan user. An endearing smile spread Shikamaru’s face when he took hold of the braid and carefully began unwinding the knotted mess Neji had made trying to take it out on his own.

Nara would never admit it out loud, in fact in just a moment be planned on letting his roommate know that the task was a pain, but he didn’t mind unbraiding the smooth locks. The only thing Shikamaru found to be a burden was the tickle in his stomach, the goose bumps on his forearms and the rapid pulsing in his chest. None of which could he explain the cause of, but he was willing to blame Neji all the same. Troublesome Hyūga.


	24. Chapter 24

"I believe congratulations are in order."

The smile on Shikamaru's face at the sound of Neji's voice wasn't warranted—he'd seen the ANBU clad ninja crossing the field a few moments ago and already knew the news had spread. He pushed his hands deeper into his pockets and slouched against the window, forehead pressed to the cold pane as he looked at nothing in particular.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it.” He grumbled dismissively.

“I knew you’d be promoted to squad leader in no time at all.” Neji ignored him and crossed his arms, grinning at the back of Shikamaru’s head. “You should be proud of yourself."

Shikamaru shrugged and continued to peer outside until Neji was beside him. He tore his gaze away to inspect the Hyūga.

“Are you heading out for a mission?” He presumed.

“No, I’ve just gotten back actually.” Neji corrected.

Surprising since his uniform was immaculate for once and not a single strand of hair was out of place. Impressive.

“I was also offered a position here at the Academy. Well, offered is a polite way of saying I didn’t get a choice.” Shikamaru mumbled.

Neji's eyes lit up, and he smiled genuinely. "You will make a wonderful teacher, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru snorted so hard he hurt his nostrils. “Now that’s the first time I’ve gotten that reaction all day. Everyone else I’ve talked to seems aware I’m especially terrible with children.”

“You’re great with kids.” Neji dismissed as he leaned against the windowsill. “They respect you.”

"Hgn. They may be willing to listen, but it's only because they know I'm a lazy pushover so I'll give them a light workload if they do what I ask."

Hyūga shook his head, a faraway look consuming his luminous orbs. "You are no pushover, Shikamaru Nara."

“If the situation is troublesome my laziness will always win.” Shikamaru almost sounded disappointed.

“You aren’t lazy.”

Shikamaru bulked. No one in his entire life had ever said those words to him. It felt odd to hear the opposite end of the spectrum.

"You're brilliant. People think you're lazy because you don't appear to pay attention. You exert little effort unless necessary because you're a genius because you calculate the situation at a ridiculous speed to determine what is required. Using more energy than needed is a waste. It could cost precious seconds depending on the situation." Neji stopped to lock eyes with Shikamaru. "People assume when you don't try you're lazy, but still you're doing the minimum that's required because anything more than that doesn't make sense. I've seen you in action, seen what it looks like when you apply yourself. I detest when you're called lazy. You're efficient to a fault. Nothing less than that."

Speechless was Shikamaru. In the first place, Neji did not often get worked up enough about anything to go into such grave detail. Especially when talking to Shikamaru because they were nearly always on the same page. To listen to his friend rattle off truths about himself that he hadn’t considered nor did he know how to verbalize inspired adoration in the shadow manipulator. More importantly, Neji truly understood him. 

 

> _“Why did you do it?”_
> 
> _Asuma looked up at his former student and cocked half a smile, the cigarette wedged between his lips shifting enough to look like it might fall out. That would never happen, though. Shikamaru had spent the better part of the afternoon hunting his sensei down after his meeting with the Hokage. Something told him Asuma knew right and well that the shadow user would be after him._
> 
> _“Shikamaru.” Asuma greeted cheerily. “Took you longer than I expected.”_
> 
> _“Hiding in plain sight, old man? You’re always raving about this park. Slow rivers, tall arbors.” Shikamaru recalled as he slid onto the bench of the rod iron picnic table, hands folded in his lap._
> 
> _Asuma took a long drag from his cigarette then let out a low chuckle. “So, you do listen when I’m talking.”_
> 
> _“I hear everything everyone says.” Shikamaru tapped his forehead. “One of the many advantages of a brain that never shuts off.”_
> 
> _“You just can’t be bothered to acknowledge people or add to the conversation.” Asuma gave his cigarette a flick._
> 
> _“I don’t like putting in unnecessary effort.” Shikamaru corrected._
> 
> _The older man merely shook his head, eyes glimmering in amusement. Shikamaru was an enigma to Asuma in every way, but he didn’t mind._
> 
> _“I’ll ask again. Why did you do it?” The shadow wielder pressed._
> 
> _“How are you so sure I did anything?” Asuma quipped, raising a brow._
> 
> _Shikamaru looked bored. “Tsunade told me you made the recommendation. Why?”_
> 
> _“Tch, that treacherous woman promised to keep it anonymous.” Asuma sighed and rubbed the back of his neck._
> 
> _“You know I have no desire to take on underlings, I never did.” Shikamaru accused._
> 
> _“That’s exactly why I did it.” Asuma raised his hand when Shikamaru opened his mouth, successfully halting whatever argument the lazy ninja planned to make. “Whether you want to do it or not I doubt you’ve ever truly considered. You just know it's a lot of work and that's what stops you. You’re too easy going to pursue it on your own.”_
> 
> _Shikamaru's shoulders slackened as he leaned forward and said, "And you decided just to force my hand the way you wanted it to go?"_
> 
> _“I decided to do what I think is best for you, what I think you know is best, too. Besides, it’s not like you have to take the position if you don’t want it.” Asuma responded._
> 
> _“Tsunade didn’t make it sound like I had a choice.” Shikamaru countered._
> 
> _“That’s because she’s a troublesome woman,” said his sensei._
> 
> _"Hgn," Shikamaru grunted._
> 
> _"Listen, Shikamaru, while I have you here." Asuma paused as if he weren't sure he wanted to keep going, but now that the younger male's eyes were looking at him expectantly he didn't have a choice. "I'm sorry about your father."_
> 
> _Lids fluttered over midnight brown eyes, and Shikamaru gave a small nod of thanks. He didn't feel any overwhelming guilt or sorrow when thinking about his father, but he didn't want to be reminded of the man if he could help it. Sensing that Shikamaru was uncomfortable, Asuma set up a shōgi board on the table and waited for the cloud gazer to pop an eye open._
> 
> _Shikamaru eagerly accepted the invitation. The bond between Asuma and himself had started with a game of shōgi long ago and though they rarely had chances to get together these days when they did there was always time for at least one game. Shikamaru hoped that never changed. And although he did find Tsunade's proposal extremely troublesome he resolved to at least consider the matter. Asuma never meddled in Shikamaru's life apart from offering fatherly advice, so if the man had gone through so much trouble, there must be a good reason. And it’s not like Asuma was wrong, Shikamaru hadn’t ever thought about what he wanted to do apart from his ninja life in the field.  
>  _
> 
> _“So,” without even looking Shikamaru could hear the grin in Asuma’s voice. “You and Neji, hm?”_
> 
> _Shikamaru didn’t mask bewilderment. “Uh… yeah, he’s my roommate.”_
> 
> _Asuma tossed his head back and howled with laughter. Shikamaru apparently missed the punch line. He frowned profoundly waiting for Asuma to finish cackling, but the man's expression was completely unreadable. Why was his sensei bringing up Neji? He already knew they lived together._
> 
> _"Hyūga seems like he's grown a lot over the years, developed into a decent person," Asuma commented._
> 
> _“Uh huh, Neji’s nice.”_
> 
> _Why were they still talking about Neji? Asuma studied the shinobi considerately for a while, the amusement in his eyes had danced away only to be replaced by fondness and something akin to pride._
> 
> _“I’m happy for you, Shikamaru.” Asuma conveyed earnestly._
> 
> _The words were out of place, didn't make sense, and no matter how many avenues Shikamaru tracked over in his mind none of them lead to a feasible reason for Asuma to have said it. Asuma only continued to smile that knowing smile, mumbling something about being young and naïve. It almost sounded like he pitied Shikamaru; as if the shadow wielder had overlooked whatever it was Asuma saw crystal clear. For the first time in his life, Shikamaru Nara was honestly stumped._


	25. Chapter 25

The whole purpose of filling out reports in the dining room was to avoid his bed— Shikamaru knew if he tried to complete the troublesome documents in his bedroom eventually he would give in and take a nap. Plus, Neji was also doing paperwork of his own, so he figured the company would motivate him to finish the task as soon as possible. At least these were the reasons Shikamaru gave to Neji. Except now the shadow ninja was sound asleep on the table, drool pooling from his open mouth onto a stack of paperwork. Neji planned on letting his friend rest for a while since they'd both been undergoing an increase of missions again, the man probably needed it. But then Shikamaru had started snoring obnoxiously.

By then, Neji had thoroughly lost interest in his remaining assessments. He grinned as he extended his pen to poke Shikamaru’s nose. The younger scrunched his face and started, but made no further movement. Hyūga jabbed again a little harder. Shikamaru cracked an eye open as he swatted the pen away. There wasn’t a point in trying to go back to sleep now since he’d been woken up. He stretched with a loud, elaborate sigh casting the long-haired ANBU a sideways frown.

“Shouldn’t you be out plotting with Sasuke?” Shikamaru grunted.

"Sasuke is away on a mission," Neji explained simply. "And I outrank him so I can complete the reports on my own."

“Wait, you outrank Uchiha? How did I not know about this?” Shikamaru sounded genuinely surprised.

Neji managed somehow to look both hurt and amused simultaneously. "You don't think I'm capable of outranking someone?"

“Oh, no. Quite the opposite. But Sasuke is practically _the chosen one_ with everything. I didn’t think it was possible for people to outrank him. On paper, of course.” Shikamaru replied.

“Come now, that’s not fair.” Neji poked Shikamaru’s forearm with his pen.

“I know Sasuke isn’t the same self-important brat from the Chūnin Exams, but the rest of the village has put him right back on that pedestal. I haven’t been to a single ANBU meeting where he wasn’t given some special mention or kudo.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes then grumbled, “It’s not like _he’s_ a hero.”

“Shikamaru Nara,” Neji bore a kind, patient, admiring smile. “You just like me better than Sasuke.”

"You're right about that. And I am grateful for this new tidbit of information; I look forward to taunting him about it like a child." Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and nodded.

A rare chuckle sounded from Neji, and Shikamaru smiled. Sometimes acting like an idiot was worth it at the expense of the brunette's amusement.

“Well, now that I’m awake do you feel like going for a walk?” he asked through a yawn.

“A walk? In the middle of the night? That sounds very unlike you.” Neji commented.

"Yeah, you have that effect on people," Shikamaru said to himself.

“What?” Neji blinked.

“ _What?”_ Shikamaru hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

They stared one another down as Shikamaru sought the least tedious way to explain what he meant. He broke the eye contact first, heaving another sigh as he scratched the back of his head.

“I just meant you encourage people to do things they normally wouldn’t. Being around you reminds me how lazy I am and that I should strive for better.”

Conflicting emotions flickered in Neji’s eyes far too quickly for the shadow manipulator to read a single one.

"There's nothing wrong with the person you already are, Shikamaru," Neji spoke quietly.

“I don’t mean I feel like I need to change. When you’re around, though, I make sounder decisions. It’s like you help me think clearer.” Shikamaru tried.

Judging by the perplexed expression on Neji’s face he hadn’t made the situation much better. _Fuck_.

“Ah, Neji don’t look at me like that. Do you realize how stupid I sound when I try to explain things? No one would believe I’m this supposed genius, I swear.” Shikamaru rambled off as he gave the back of his neck a squeeze. “I’ll make it simple. You like going for walks at night. I like being around you. Instead of wasting my time sleeping I would rather go on a walk with you.”

Why was it so hard to find the right words? Neji continued to stare, but a smile was slowly stretching across his porcelain face. He knew what Shikamaru meant, after all, he had similar sentiments about cloud watching. Neji didn't care for lying out in the sun, it was bad for his skin, and there were plenty of productive things he could do instead. The temptation of lounging in Shikamaru's company always outweighed logic, maybe because Shikamaru was the only person who didn't expect anything from him. He could be himself, let the walls come down for a while. Neji had often considered himself and Shikamaru to be like magnets drawn continuously into one another because of their differences.

“So,” Neji started. “Where are we walking?”

Shikamaru's grin grew steadily, and he shrugged, his way of accepting Neji’s nonverbal comprehension. “You’re the nightwalker. Got any good spots with deer?”

“Deer?” Neji repeated cocking his head.

“Yeah, I miss the herd. I doubt Ma wants me anywhere near the Nara forest since I’m a terrible son.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

Neji tapped his chin thoughtfully then stood up. “Why don’t we just sneak in?”

“Sneak in?” That definitely sounded like something out of character for Neji Hyūga. “You think we could pull it off?”

“Why not? You know the layout better than anyone else. You are a Nara after all.” Neji responded.

“We might get caught.” Shikamaru felt the need to point out.

Neji raised a brow. “Shikamaru, we are _ninjas_.”

“Oh… you’re right. We probably won’t be caught then.”


	26. Chapter 26

Two dozen ANBU operatives stood in Tsunade's office, among them were Sasuke Uchiha and Neji Hyūga. Those who were not present, namely and most notably in Neji's opinion, was Shikamaru Nara. The only ninjas to be summoned were those returning from high-rank missions and already responsible for making status reports before going home. Tsunade promised she would address the remaining members the following morning and only after then she would make a public announcement. Neji kept his head bowed as per usual and his eyes closed, silently sending a prayer for each of their fallen comrades as the Hokage read a list of deceased.

By chance, a group of rogue ninja and Akatsuki had stumbled upon several leaf ninjas on a mission far from Konoha and slaughtered nearly every single one of them. The last thing their village needed was more death, more loss, and heartache. Hidan. That was the name reported back to Tsunade as the ringleader of the group and the one responsible for most of the destruction. Everyone in the room committed the Akatsuki’s name to memory in case they should ever cross paths— leaf ninjas were nothing if not loyal to their comrades and would gladly avenge those fallen if the chance ever came.

“…ma Sarutobi."

Neji wrenched from his private thoughts snapping back like a rubber band stretched too far, his eyes were wide, and his tone was uncharacteristically harsh. " _What?”_

“Asuma Sarutobi.”

A shudder shook his entire body, his stomach did several flips, and his throat felt like it was getting tighter by the minute. His ears were buzzing, and his blood ran cold. He had to find Shikamaru and tell him before the news spread before the unknowing shadow ninja was brought in for a meeting and blindsided. For a few moments longer, he stood pretending to listen but gradually backed out of the room unnoticed by everyone except for Sasuke who seemed to understand the gravity of the situation.

Thankfully, Shikamaru was in the first place Neji looked; home. The man was in the kitchen leaned against the counter and eating a bowl of tofu. He raised a brow when he saw Neji then glanced at the clock.

“You’re home early. Didn’t you have a debriefing today?” Shikamaru asked around a piece of tofu.

Neji didn’t speak. He placed his mask on the counter and slowly removed his vest, opalescent eyes never leaving Shikamaru’s face as he hung the garment on the back of a chair. Shikamaru continued to munch in silence to obscure his concern— Neji had never looked so pale and distressed before.

“Don’t tell me, Gai stopped things short to have a youthful run, again?” Shikamaru teased.

Hyūga closed in on him, took the bowl from Shikamaru's hands to set aside then drew him in for a tight embrace. Shikamaru frowned but hugged Neji just as close now even more worried about his best friend. Was it the clan? Had they done something to him? Gods if they'd hurt Neji he would—

“I’m sorry.”

Shikamaru turned his head into the older man’s shoulder as he splayed his fingers across Neji’s back. “For?”

Neji swallowed so hard Shikamaru could feel it from how firmly they were pressed. "…Asuma was killed while on a mission."

Shikamaru’s whole body tensed and he was sure he stopped breathing. Later he would reflect on the moment and feel guilty about the fact that learning of Asuma’s death affected him much quicker and far harder than his father’s had. His fingers dug deep into Neji's back, and for the first time he could recall since the night on the porch he wept openly.

 

* * *

 

Shikamaru glowered at the plaque enraged. It was no grave marker, Asuma’s body wasn’t buried there. It was nothing more than a reminder written on stone that Asuma was never coming back. He looked at the people nearby and felt instantly out of place. Everyone had come for the mass mourning, to offer prayers or tears of grief for all who had fallen. It wasn't that Shikamaru didn't care about the others. He was only there for Asuma, though. To his left stood Chōji and Ino, their eyes were swollen red and raw for the loss of their sensei. Shikamaru hadn't shed a single tear since the day Neji told him. To his right stood that very man, a steady hand braced on Shikamaru's back through the entire ceremony. It was a subtle gesture, but it helped.

Long after the ceremony ended and everyone else had disappeared, Shikamaru and Neji remained. The ponytailed ninja couldn't bring himself to walk away even though it was the last place he wanted to be. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noted that his mother wasn't present. She had never liked Asuma, said he was a bad influence. Shikamaru internally scoffed. Everything he had become was a result of Asuma's dedication and effort. So many had written him off as a lazy idiot, not bothered to try getting to know him or point him in a helpful direction. Asuma may not have always been direct, but he had his way of teaching Shikamaru.

The shadow user nearly jumped out of his skin when Neji’s free hand touched his arm. “We should go, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru could only nod and allowed himself to be steered away and lead blindly on familiar territory with Neji’s hand still on his back to guide him. He probably would never have gone through with becoming a jōnin if it had not been for Asuma, definitely wouldn’t have the drive to even think about ANBU. Not to mention the man was a different sort of father figure, had filled a hole his own whipped father could not and with both of them gone Shikamaru didn’t know how he could begin to survive. It wasn’t until Neji withdrew his hand that Shikamaru finally tuned in and realized they weren’t home. They were standing in the middle of a quiet park. Slow rivers, and tall arbors.

He snapped his head around so fast his neck screamed. “Neji?”

“I thought maybe you would like a game of shōgi.”

Shikamaru flashed his eyes back to the scene silently absorbing what Neji had done. On the iron rod picnic table indeed sat a game board already set up to play and two bottles of saké. His heart clenched.

"It's been a while," Neji said gently.

The only thing Shikamaru found himself capable of was nodding as he flopped down. Hyūga slid a crumpled package of cigarettes across the table. Shikamaru’s eyes bulged.

“Asuma had these on him. I thought you should have them.” He explained simply.

Except that explained _nothing_ at all. Shikamaru stopped to study his friend for the first time. The hand pushing over the pack of cigarettes was bandaged as far as he could see. Much of Neji was covered impeccably by strategically placed clothing, and for once his long hair flowed over either of his shoulders to conceal what clothing could not. The few places Shikamaru caught glimpses of were bruised or cut, all fresh markings. Neji sat down acutely aware of Shikamaru eying him. Nara didn't miss the flinch. Neji had gone out, undoubtedly without permission, to wherever it was Asuma's body laid and recovered the cigarettes. He had arranged a game of shōgi, a favorite pastime between Shikamaru and his late sensei, in Asuma's favorite park with Asuma's favorite saké _._

A perfect funeral. Sensing Shikamaru had begun to feel emotional, Neji chose a black piece and moved it accordingly. Shikamaru returned the move before fishing through the crumpled pack of cigarettes for an intact one. It took some time to get the lighter to work as well. When he straightened up again, he was astonished to see Neji with a cigarette between his lips, leaning over the table for Shikamaru to light it. He slanted forward, the ember end of his cigarette bumping the unlit one as deep brown eyes met barely-lilac and unspoken words passed between them.

Shikamaru continued to stare, enraptured and fascinated as Neji took a drag. The long-haired ninja seemed a tad uncomfortable initially; he had probably never smoked a day in his life. What Shikamaru found most striking was how even though Neji was so distinguished, so pristine and pure the cancerous stick dangling from his mouth did not detract from his grace or beauty in even the slightest. Shikamaru inhaled, deeming the thought too troublesome to linger on. When he exhaled, Shikamaru thought of Asuma and smiled— something he hadn't believed he would ever be able to do again.

 


	27. Chapter 27

“Shikamaru!” Naruto growled, slamming both palms on the table.

Why had he ever expected to nap peacefully in the middle of lunch? Shikamaru lifted his head and was greeted by an unsightly trio— Naruto, Sakura, and Shino. With a sigh then a yawn he sat up and stretched maintaining the most uninterested expression he could manage.

“This had better be good, Uzumaki. I hate when you’re a pain.” Shikamaru grumbled.

“When is Naruto _not_ a pain?” Sakura asked.

“Hey!” Naruto shouted.

Naruto smacked the pink haired woman without thinking twice and received a crack to the face for it. Shikamaru snorted. He almost wished he had the energy to give the hyperactive ninja a punch of his own. _Almost._

“What the hell is Neji’s problem?” Naruto demanded loudly as he rubbed his throbbing cheek.

Shikamaru’s brows knitted together. Why did people keep bringing up Neji around him? Was there some unspoken rule he didn’t know about saying that once you moved in with someone you automatically became the go-to for everyone else?

He shrugged and gestured towards the door. “Why don’t you go ask him? I’m pretty sure he’s in the depository.”

“Yeah, getting ready for another mission.” Naruto rolled his eyes and huffed as he crossed his arms. “That guy is working me to death!”

"I'm not sure what any of this has to do with me," Shikamaru said blatantly.

"I think what Naruto is trying to say is that Neji seems more stern than usual these days," Sakura added helpfully.

"That's his job, you know." Shikamaru wondered if spending time with Naruto was starting to affect Sakura's common sense.

“He’s supposed to lead us on missions, not force us to do the grunt work!” Naruto complained.

“Neji is jōnin and ANBU, he doesn’t require training on missions. You still do.” Shikamaru reminded the blue-eyed shinobi. “I’m sure there are reasons for why he pushes you.”

“Naruto and Sakura are just concerned he’s losing sight of his duty.” Shino finally spoke up.

Now they’d gone and pissed the shadow wielder off.

“Listen, all three of you. In the first place, if you have a problem with your commander or squad leader you are supposed to take it to them directly. Do none of you remember Kiba’s countless missteps by going behind Neji’s back? Secondly, all of you want something better for yourselves. Naruto, you are always claiming you want to be Hokage someday. Sakura, you tell everyone you’re going to be an even more effective medical ninja than Tsunade. And Shino, I honestly have no idea what it is you want because we don’t spend any time together. And that is because bugs freak me the fuck out.” Shikamaru shuddered. "Nothing personal and no offense. Anyway, like I was saying if Neji's pushing you that's only because he's trying to help you achieve the goals all of you claim to have."

­Shikamaru grinned smugly to himself as the trio hung their heads. It was shocking how effective he could be without even thinking through what he wanted to say; he'd just spoken honestly about Neji and the long-haired man's motives. Naruto slumped into the seat across from Shikamaru immediately killing his smirk. He'd hoped that they would disappear now and he could go back to sleeping before his next rotation started. Damn, what did a guy have to do to take a nap around this place?

"Alright, Shikamaru, point taken. But be honest, isn't he cold-hearted?" Naruto hunched over the table like they were sharing a secret.

“Yeah,” Sakura joined, sitting beside Naruto. “I mean, you’re his roommate, right? You guys must fight a lot or never speak at all. That’s got to be awkward.”

Shino took the seat next to Shikamaru. “I hear he’s a compulsive neat-freak.”

“Is this one of those jokes that you guys do that I don’t get but pretend to laugh at?” Shikamaru questioned, his eyes narrowed.

“How can you put up with him, Shikamaru? He’s totally boring.” Sakura continued.

“Don’t you find him troublesome?” Naruto encouraged.

If this was the way adults gossiped about fellow shinobi, Shikamaru didn't know if he would survive teaching at the Academy after all. Kids had to be way worse, right? Or so he hoped. If not, that meant his comrades were ridiculously immature, which they _were_ , but even more so than he'd initially thought. It brought him back to his earlier dilemma as to why people kept bringing Neji up around him. They had lived together for long enough now that whether or not people disliked Hyūga, they should understand that Shikamaru did not feel the same way. The man was known not to involve himself with troublesome people; he would never put forth the effort to share an apartment with another shinobi if they didn't get along.

The things his comrades thought about Neji made him want to punch a wall. Coldhearted? Neji was a _hero_ for crying out loud! The Hyūga kept proving over and over again that everyone else came before him, probably even his despicable clan came first. Yet, the general public and supposed friends considered him heartless. Shikamaru couldn’t think of anyone with a kinder soul. Now to be fair, Neji did not express such warm sentiments to everyone else, probably not even Sasuke. Shikamaru thought about their ANBU mission, how close their bodies had been. Would a coldhearted person let themselves be held so tenderly? Would they allow someone such intimate proximity?

And boring? Shikamaru had never known a more interesting person in his life. Again, these were parts of Neji not known to the public, but wasn't anyone curious enough about the pale-eyed ninja to try getting to know him? It would have to be on Neji's terms, of course, he would never just open up to people on a whim. The effort was worth it. The more Shikamaru learned about Neji, the more he craved, the more he needed. Forget about the troubled past, never mind his once snobby ways— Neji Hyūga had layers to him even Shikamaru hadn't figured out all the mechanics behind yet. But he would. He _had_ to. Their dependency on one another was probably unhealthy to anyone else so Shikamaru would not bother explaining it to avoid awkward questions. His best friend deserved better than what everyone else thought of him. Somehow that made their bond even more sacred to Shikamaru, knowing that he got to see what Hyūga was really like, that those parts of Neji were reserved only for him.

Shikamaru happened to look up just as Neji entered the cafeteria and he was instantly arrested by powerful moonstone orbs. They held him briefly, long enough for the duo to share a moment, a silent hello and then it was over just as quickly as it had begun. Shikamaru found himself left breathless and everyone at the table appeared to have noticed, though they hadn’t caught what happened to render him in such a condition.

"Uh, Shikamaru? Are you ok?" Naruto asked as he waved a hand in front of Shikamaru. "You spaced out pretty hard there."

“I’m fine.” Shikamaru dismissed, although he was silently questioning his own sanity and wondering what the hell just happened.

“ _So?”_ Sakura and Naruto sang in unison.

“So, _what?”_ He frowned.

“Neji!” Naruto snapped.

Shikamaru shrugged. “He’s alright.”


	28. Chapter 28

Shikamaru promised himself that on his way back from the grocery store he would absolutely _not_ take the route past the Hyūga compound, even if Neji _was_ at a clan meeting. And yet he found himself casually strolling along the path anyway. He didn't expect to overhear any conversations, but it's not like he had anything better to do. The compound was quiet as per usual and dark except for a few buildings near the center were well lit up, he presumed that was where the meetings were held. Shikamaru strolled through the compound grounds as if he belonged there. The Hyūga's land behind the houses was primarily a vast park with plenty of elaborate gazebos, benches and even a pond. He momentarily thought it might be a beautiful place to cloud gaze.

His eyes fell on two figures on one of the benches far away, and he was frowning before he knew for sure who it was. No one should be outside during this hour unless they were a Hyūga and all the Hyūgas were in a meeting. As he got closer, he recognized it was Neji and even from so far away with the sun nearly gone he could see the red glowering from his friend's exposed forehead. His stomach churned and knotted. Sasuke was beside Neji, his expression angry as he spoke quietly until noticing another person's presence. At first, Uchiha tensed, but upon realizing it was Shikamaru, he relaxed again.

Neji was slightly hunched, and his eyes closed, teeth gritted down so hard Shikamaru was sure his jaw must be hurting, though it was probably the least of his pain. Hyūga should've been crying from agony, but he wouldn't, not at the risk of his family seeing. The brunette cracked an eye open once Shikamaru had reached him. He looked at Nara for a mere fraction of a second then averted his gaze like he was embarrassed. Sasuke announced that he would fetch a wet cloth then spared Shikamaru a solemn look before heading to the pond. Shikamaru sat next to Neji quietly and stared at the green curse seal which was still pulsing. For the second time in his life, his peaceful demeanor faded and he wanted nothing more than to destroy the Hyūga clan.

“ _Why?”_ Shikamaru asked.

He sounded like he too was in pain. There wasn't a point in asking what happened. The curse seal was used to keep branch members in line, so he already knew exactly what had happened. He just wanted to know why they did it. Neji's uncle had refrained from using the seal since his nephew joined ANBU and moved away. What could possibly have justified it now?

“Members of the cadet branch aren’t allowed to have opinions that differ from the elders.” Neji voiced quietly.

Infuriated— that was the only word to describe Shikamaru Nara at that moment. Neji had dedicated his entire life to the Hyūga clan's main branch, even when amends for his mistreatment were never made. He was without a doubt the strongest, most talented member of their clan surpassing everyone in the main house and easily ranked top ten within the rest of the village. The man was a war hero. What else could they possibly want from him to see him as an equal?

“You’re thinking too loudly.”

Shikamaru withdrew from his thoughts and stared at his friend. “I _hate_ them.”

The malice in his words surprised them both. Neji smiled gently.

“I’m sorry.” Neji murmured just as Sasuke reappeared with a cold damp cloth.

"I can't stay, I have another solo mission," Sasuke stated bitterly. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

The skeptical way Sasuke was looking at Neji suggested he probably wouldn’t believe anything the man said.

“Thank you, Sas. I’m ok, really. I have Shikamaru with me.” Neji replied.

There were a lot of things Shikamaru would have liked to focus on such as Neji’s nickname for Sasuke or the way Sasuke tapped the older man’s forehead before leaving, but the only thing holding his attention was the swell of pride in his chest knowing Neji would be alright simply because they were together. The thought made him frown and instead he decided he was just grateful Neji felt some relief with a friend nearby.

“You’d think I’d have built up a tolerance for this by now.” Neji sighed as he leaned back on the bench staring up at the sky, the cold cloth pressed lightly to his forehead.

“No one should have to adapt themselves to being tortured.” Shikamaru soothed.

He could almost hear the question lingering in Neji’s mind— what if he deserved it— and Shikamaru prayed his friend wouldn’t ask it aloud. Their conversations late at night when they couldn’t sleep had on more than one occasion alluded that Neji thought he deserved the treatment his clan gave him. It made Shikamaru’s blood boil to a point he found himself silently begging for Neji to see his own worth. Suddenly, remembering his groceries, Shikamaru dove into the bag rummaging around until he found a small package which he held out to Neji.

Neji looked at the package first then Shikamaru. “Daifuku?”

“Yeah… I saw it at the store and thought it might be good.” Shikamaru did his best to sound indifferent.

"It's my favorite," Neji confessed.

Shikamaru knew that. He knew Neji adored daifuku and he knew the older man was going to be pleasantly surprised, that was the reason he'd bought it in the first place. Neji didn't treat himself to sweets often; it was a good change of pace. And yet, even knowing all that Shikamaru still felt childishly accomplished when Neji flashed a warm smile. 

His heart sped a few paces. Troublesome. He discerned his reaction to kindness was solely related to the _person_ providing it and not the act itself. When precisely it happened Shikamaru didn’t bother to try and pinpoint, the signs had been there flashing and blinking long enough, but he wasn’t paying attention.

Shikamaru had fallen for Neji Hyūga.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of the first part! I'm pretty proud of it, so I hope those of you who joined me for this RarePair ride enjoyed the story thus far.  
> I hope you'll continue the journey and read the next two installments Submerge and Undertow.  
> Thank you for reading! :)


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